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Monthly Archives: June 2005

Thursday, June 30, 2005

Hour 1:Raj Faneen thinks Arabs should get to pay less for gas than non-Arabs.Hour 2:Grocery store owner Bob Greene joins the program to discuss a Natalee Holloway fund he started, intended to supply adequate chaperoning for high school trips. He expected sales at his store to increase, when they didn’t that’s when Bob started making racial comments to his customers.Hour 3:Mavis Leonard joins the program with “Good News in the Neighborhood.” David yells at Phil after he makes Mavis cry. Eddie Van Halen talks about rock news and Live 8. Phil talks politics and Bush bashing e-mails. A caller says “There’s a man in my house.” David G. Hall says the previous call was a prank. Harvey Wireman joins the program with Harvey Wireman’s Law Talk. Water Cronkite joins us with poetry for the hearing impaired.

Posted in Classic Shows, David G. Hall, Phil Media

Wednesday, June 29, 2005

Hour 1:Father McQuarters and other cardinals have joined together in Rome to discuss the sainthood of Pope John Paul the 2nd. The Father turns black whenever Phil turns the music down! Phil replies to spam e-mails. Tsunami Sam sings a song about Tom Cruise in honor of “War of the Worlds.” Phil talks a little bit about the film. Jeff Dowder shares some ideas with Phil on how Al Quaida can enter the country. Hal and Viola are dragging an ad for the “17th” annual R.V. caravan behind their plane.Hour 2:Summer school teacher Vernon Dozier says his students are allowed to come to school in their bathing suits. Mavis Leonard warns not to come to Florida because of shark attacks.Hour 3:David G. Hall fires Phil for saying “Big box,” right before he fires Bud and hires Harvey Wireman and Lloyd Bonifide. Margaret Grey joins us with a program called “Cavalcade of Cows.” Herb Sewell joins us with a program called “Filmstars I’d like to take into my basement.” Phil reads some e-mail.

Posted in Classic Shows, Jeff Dowder, Phil Media

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Hour 1:Clara Bingham plays cow sound effects, laugh tracks and other insulting noises when overweight children come on campus in order to get them to cry to their parents about it. It’s then that Clara can confront these parents who, with every plate of flapjacks they serve, say “I Hate You” to their children.Hour 2:Steve Bosell is suing Las Vegas. He says he has gone there with the sole intention of going to his hotel room, taking a shower, putting on a nice cardigan sweater and a pair of Dockers and going down stairs to the tables to play black jack and drink ice water. But no sooner does he get off the plane then the doorman at the hotel is “sending messages telepathically” telling him to go to Olympic Gardens where Steve proceeds to get drunk and drop 1500 bucks on lap dances.Hour 3:Chris Norton introduces his new service “Dream Date.” If you are a high school girl who ordinarily doesn’t get invited to proms, he’ll be your date complete with limo, dinner and, as you exit the limo for the prom, smoke “like you’re walking out of hell.” Chris prices on a sliding scale. The more “challenging” the date, the more expensive. How much to date Terri Schiavo? According to Chris, “four figures.”

Posted in Classic Shows, Phil Media, Steve Bosell

Monday, June 27, 2005

Hour One:The show starts with the news flash that Tom Cruise has finally come out of the closet….The Adventures of Mister Magoo find the near sighted Mister Magoo cutting into what he thinks is a steak but in fact is a live power cable…Phil talks about Don Julio Real in a tequila segment…Phil talks about the Fox news people kicking in Aruba with their raccoon eyes and their umbrella drinks…Crime Night with Bob Hooligan has Bob interviewing an LAPD detective who thinks Tom Cruise is so off the deep end he’ll gut Katie Holmes and hang her upside down in a barn….Hour Two:Bobbi and Steve Dooley of the Western Estates Patent Teacher Organization talk about locking their kids in the trunk of their Cadillac sedan for “time-outs..”Hour Three:Margaret Grey is on to talk about a screenplay she’s written involving Abe Lincoln and his involvement with a slave. Its called Mandingo 4…….Phil belly aches about them digging up his street and birds that are knocking themselves unconscious flying into his house….Phil talks about Bobby Browns reality show….An Alaska Fish and Game guy comes on to talk about a couple attacked and killed by a grizzly bear…Phil does a whole rant on Alexander Hamilton, Thomas Jefferson and George Washington…..

Posted in Classic Shows, Phil Media, Steve Dooley

Friday, June 24, 2005

Hour OneTed Bell of Ted’s of Beverly Hills feels that anyone ordering their steak “medium to medium well” is gutless and more worried about mad cow disease than our men and women in harms way in Iraq. Get a pair, says Ted, and eat your steak rare.Hour TwoDavid G. Hall opens the hour telling Phil that the Quizno’s baby was abducted and found in a barrel….and then says he’s only kidding…..Phil reads a list of new bits added to the archives….Phil reads some e-mail including one with new, funniest lines from the show….Phil wonders when the Long Beach Blues Festival is which leads to Bud saying he likes the blues even though he doesn’t like “Negroes.”…..Rudy Canosa calls in to say he is shamed to realize that saying La-la-la with your tongue hanging out to American women means something “filthy.”…..Phil wonders how tough an assignment Aruba must be for Greta and Alan Colmes…….Hour Three:Chris Norton, a young pharmaceutical rep from Hermosa Beach, tells Phil that he and his friends are all “hot-looking, young professionals” who want to keep their beach for “hot-looking people only.” It’s tough, he says, “having a Mes-sican scramble and seeing some beast come down the bike path. You can’t keep your eggs down.”

Posted in Chris Norton, Classic Shows, Phil Media

Thursday, June 23, 2005

Hour One:Frodo the Puppet asks why the American gasoline consumer willingly takes a dry, five finger prostate exam when it comes to oil prices…..Earl Pants has catchy phrases for people that make him mad in traffic…..Phil reads e-mail and belly-aches about not being able to get a hotel room for Saturday night……Hour Two:Pastor William Rennick explains that an old lady died from heat exhaustion in his church last Sunday because he thinks people should be as tough as Jesus was when he got “the hell kicked out of him for 11 hours by the Romans” and the old lady obviously wasn’t in shape…..Hour Three:Frodo is back on to ask Phil what its like to get a massage at a spa…..Brad Rifkin talks with Phil about an ad campaign he proposed to Visa that was rejected…..Phil announces the Spurs NBA championship while a lone cricket is heard in the background……Bud’s Babe of the Week, Kathy Hilton, becomes fodder for discussion….as in why the crumbling Hilton Hotel chain doesn’t use Paris in THEIR commercials the way Carls Jr uses her in theirs…..Phil talks about the plastic surgery epidemic…David assures Phil he can bring Frodo back on one more time so that the puppet can ask Phil about Phil’s Alexander Hamilton book…..only Phil has to do it with the one, lone cricket in background…..

Posted in Classic Shows, Pastor William Rennick, Phil Media

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Hour One:Jay Santos and the Citizens Auxiliary Police will patrol beaches and parks this summer to make sure some parent putting sun lotion on their kid “isn’t getting their cookies.”Hour Two:Lloyd Bonafide has a real problem with the Saddam Hussein underwear picture. When women get a look at “what he got” they may soften their views toward the dictator.Hour Three:Larry Grover, newly re-invented as the “Angry Liberal” comes on to tell Phil the sad tale of being asked the question “If you are against the war for oil Iraq how come you drive a car?” Larry can’t think of a good answer so he goes home troubled and perplexed. When his autistic son starts banging a spoon on the table and making barnyard noises, Larry back hands him across the kitchen floor. He blames Bush’s policy in Iraq for his kid getting cuffed.

Posted in Classic Shows, Jay Santos, Phil Media

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Hour 1:Chris Norton’s new company, Germaine Hair Care and Salon Products for Women is a bold new venture. He and Lance Germaine base their sales technique on Chris’s innate “sess-uality” and his direct and honest approach. “Hi my name is Chris and I wanted to tell you that your face isn’t really cutting it.”Hour 2:Clara Bingham of Joyful Union Congregation Middle School chucks a kids cell phone out into the street when she finds out he’s talking to his dad in Iraq………Hour 3:Steve Bosell, the Corona construction contractor started taking magic lessons mail-order so he could work kids birthday parties on weekends. So he goes to these kid’s parties as “Magic Steve” and does his thing but the kids tell him he sucks and would rather play in the bounce house. Steve decides to sue the mother and father that hosted one of these parties because since kids are minors “they don’t have the constitutional right to free speech.” And the kids exercising their free speech by walking out on his boring magic show is therefore illegal.

Posted in Classic Shows, Phil Media, Steve Bosell

Monday, June 20, 2005

Hour 1:Margaret Grey believes the US Army is filled with Lynndie England’s, “a lurching mob of ‘gloids.”Hour 2:Raj Feneen came on the show to say that NASCAR wastes oil with their “stupid racing.” The oil that is wasted by NASCAR is the resource of the middle east and Americans use it to race cars and go buy “Biggie fries.” Phil ended the hour by saying that NASCAR is superior to any other sport because you can bring a cooler in and no dumbass fan is going to throw something on the track without the other fans around him, without warning, ending his life.Hour 3:Vernon Dozier listened as a female student told him she and her boyfriend were experimenting sexually and that she was afraid of getting pregnant. Vernon tells Phil that “naturally I got aroused” and that she found out because “I was wearing Spandex cycling shorts” but that he wanted to help her. He advised her to try “the back door.”

Posted in Classic Shows, Phil Media, Vernon Dozier

Friday, June 17, 2005

Hour One:Ted Bell’s steakhouse is such a great, prime, continental experience, he feels its acceptable to comment on how nice women’s b-u-t-t’s are. He feels any woman who can’t see that she is in a class place and the price for that is him grabbing their a-s-s as he leads them to their table is an egotistical b-i-t-c-h.Hour Two:Bob Greene, the chairman of Frazier Foods, is on to defend his employees for hiring prostitutes to entertain suppliers who visit. Bob says that the guy who supplies his Chinese noodles beat up on of the women and left her to hitch hike home with a ball gag in her mouth “but that’s not as bad as Michael Jackson walking backwards and touching some corduroy wearing kid.”Hour Three:The Rocco Pandilini Experience is a radio show with a guy that tries to talk sexy to young babes but his imbecile call screener keeps putting 100 year old women on the air…..Phil takes calls from folks watching the webcast in Chicago, Portland, Tampa…..and on a US Navy base in Sicily!…..Art Bell discusses General Johnson Jameson’s latest invention, a seismograph that “predicts” earthquakes…..Little Logan Benson checks in with his grandpa’s latest opinions…..A guy calls Phil to tell him he is going to ram his Oldsmobile into the hair salon that just gave him a “Brady Bunch Perm.”……..

Posted in Classic Shows, Phil Media, Ted Bell

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