Month: September 2010

A full slate of games for NFL afficianados today in the NFL and we had some upsets. The Indianapolis Giants defeated the New York Giants 38-0 or something, I know it was a blow-out, that much I do know. Also, the Arizona Carnival….when will they ever get a team that’s good at football…were destroyed by the New England ball club 80-12 (again, it was something like that) The Washington Skin beat the Houston Oilers while the Dallas team was beaten by the New York Japs.

                   “I got this shit down”

On the west coast, the Atlanta Talcum played the New Orleans Jets and got beat almost. San Diego played Oakland I think and won, maybe. The San Francisco Skyliners versus the Chicago Bears was a great game with the 99ers (?) winning over the Chicago ballclub. The Green Bay ball club played the Minnesota ballclub and it was great. Finally, the Cincinnati Dangle won over the Buffaloes! And also, the Denver Honchos beated the Indianapolis Ravens. Also, and finally, the Baltimore Raven beat by a score of, oh let’s say 14-10, the Tampa Bay ballclub. And then finally the Maimi Doll (?) debeated* the Jacksonville Jack-it (?) 10-21.

*No, I’m not a retro-tard. I made up a word..”de-beated” as in defeated and also beated real bad.

Download it…”It’s Beneath Me!”

…download it now, here or at Itunes!

What you need:

Bottle of cheap tequila. That’s right, I said cheap

One gallon jug

Two lines, two lemons

Ice

Cup of sugar

What you do:

Fill the jug 3/4 of the way with ice. Squeeze in the juice of the lemons and the limes, toss in the peels. Dump in the cup of sugar. Dump in the bottle of tequila. Seal the jug and wrap with a towel. Begin shaking the jug and do not stop shaking the jug for 50 minutes. The more consistently you shake it, the more of a slushy you’ll have at the end and the more thoroughly the chemical reaction between the ingredients takes place. Its best to have maybe three people shaking the jug, hence the term “Yucca party.” At the end of 50 minutes, uncap the jug and pass it around. It should be slush-like and almost as sweet as lemonade. Better than any margarita.

All From February 2002…Olympics in Salt Lake City Month….’cept for dave..he’s December, 2001

Tonight the weirdness of Don Parsley, serial bull-shit artist, who claimed to Phil and his audience he has a condition called DPAS, Displaced Paranoia Anxiety Syndrome. That means he has a fear of a certain thing happening so he goes out and pretends that it did happen. He claims thats what the girl in Vancouver, Washington has and that’s why she threw acid in her own face and said a black woman did it….because she was afraid a black woman was going to throw acid in her face someday anyway. And that’s why Don beat himself in the face with a paperweight, dropped 50 Cent c.d.’s all around, ran over his own hand and threw himself in a ditch covered in grape drink….to make it look like he was set on by a gang of young black hooligans. Later we had Bob Green discussing a Wisconsin DA who, even while prosecuting a man for domestic abuse, was hitting on his girlfriend by way of “sexting.” Bob says that honesty is the best policy and that when interviewing a woman for a job he “will tell her if I’m attracted to her so we can get that out in the open and set it over to the side.”

Tonight on the Phil Hendrie Show, Herb Sewell, a former inmate at the Atascadero Forensic Hospital, tells Phil it’s perfectly normal for a man to want to kill his mother. Herb kicked his wife out of a moving car on the grapevine

                       The infamous Grapevine

one night when he “projected” his mother onto her. All perfectly normal. Later it was Jack Armstrong who was exhuberant over an article he wrote for the Huffington Post called “Play Ball.”. In it he claims the Tea Party is hypocritical because it supports taxes for football stadiums and not taxes for health care. Jack also proudly told Phil that his article so impressed Stephanie Miller that Stephanie, even though she is now out as a lesbian, told him she wanted some kind of intimacy with him. Jack said he was very moved.

Scroll down and look left. Number one: Phil Rants Ballparks And Taxes