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Phil’s Time Machine: A Letter From Queens Roger Taylor To Rolling Stone Magazine-1981

‘You Suck.’

Stunned, shocked, amazed and asleep upon perusal of your “in-depth” story of Queen in South America (“Queen Holds Court in South America,” RS 345). I am a member of said group and extremely fucking proud of its music (not all) and its achievements. I don’t even write to my mother, since the written word seems worth less in this day of the telephone and publications such as yours and the National Enquirer.

Your peculiar 1970-time-warp attitude, coupled with an innate, congenital miscomprehension of rock & roll, continues to fascinate and annoy. Thank you, oh thank you, for the pseudopolitical slant and personal dishonesty that you continue to peddle in your outdated, opinionated, down-home rag.

Thanks also for the finely tuned musical assessment of my group from our sound check! Grow up. You invented the bitterness. I pity you. You suck. You are boring and you try to infect us.

Awaiting your charming review of my current album in about eight months!

ROGER TAYLOR
London, England

This letter was written on an airline motion-sickness bag.—Ed.

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Radio For Patriots By Patriots Show Log For Friday July 29, 2011

Tonight Steve Bosell took us on a weird journey through the land of “butt dial.” When he accidentally calls his daughter from his truck she hears Steve singing along to “Man, I feel like a woman” by Shania Twain. Well, by sundown the recording of it is all over CK Corona School and in the hands of it’s dark head mistress Erica Dorton. Steve calls Delores Blasingame, his blood-sucking laweyer, to insure no one “thinks I’m gay” if they hear the recording…

Dean Wheeler drives Phil nuts with the belief that because 40,000 stopped following President Obama on Twitter it’s like a physical assault. Never mind they thought the President was spamming them with messages about raising the debt ceiling, Dean said is was “unpatriotic” to unfollow the President!

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Radio For Patriots By Patriots Show Log For Thursday July 28, 2011

Clara Bingham shared with Phil her plan for a “punitive tax” against womens clinics that perform abortions since they are terminating someone that otherwise would be paying taxes. Then again they are terminating someone that might be panhandling too “like that saxaphone player you see everyday Mr. Hendrie at the corner of Westlake Blvd. and the 101.”

Lloyd Bonafide is organizing the “Senior Crusade Sheba Buffet.” If the country defaults or otherwise meets messier economic times it’s without doubt our seniors will be “eating cat food” says Mr. Bonafide. So he’s setting up tables near the Capitol building where he’ll serve Sheba cat food on Carr’s crackers and “seven grain sprouted bread” to any congressman passing by.