Month: December 2011

Steve’s brother Shay and his wife Bianca at home in Wisconsin

It’s that time of year again. A time for giving and expressing the love you have at this festive time of the season. It’s time to reach out to family, no matter how far away in space or in dimension or mental state. We are grateful for the family that we will, yet again, gather around us come Christmas Day. We just got this wonderful card from Steve’s brother Shay and his wife Bianca and their three kids, Mikka, Candee and Belle. I really am looking forward to having them for two weeks at Christmas. Steve’s parents, who used to make it out as well every Christmas, won’t be here this year. We grieve their not being here but are happy they are alive. They are getting on in years and being around civilized human beings is more difficult for them when they break wind, belch and behave for all the world like barroom louts. I’m sorry but that’s the truth. Every year I try and pretend like it’s not true. But as they might be dead this time next year it’s time I shoved a few things out onto the table. Sure hope springs eternal. But I know the freak show is on it’s way. Because even though Cord and Melasia, Steve’s parents, won’t be here, Steve’s brother Shay and sister-in-law Bianca and the three whatever’s will be. You talk about five freaks on wheels take a good long look at the jack-ass-ian Christmas card they sent. You ever seen anything more gothically wrong than that? Shay and Bianca are in the foreground in color and the children, people most families celebrate, are black and white spirits hovering in the background, sacrificial lambs to their parents  narcissism, mere props to the technicolor wonder that is Mommy and Daddy. And, not for nothing, but don’t you think if you were going to make yourself the star of the Museum of Natural History Exhibit you’d work on your looks a little. Bianca is just flat ugly. Oh my God is she ugly. And Shay is a frightening meat head. How in God’s name they wound up with even more money than us I’ll never figure. Never. You know what, forget this.

One of the things that makes you stand out in society or life or wherever you live is a signature phrase or “sign-off.” I got the idea for my own sign-off or trademark phrase when I was watching Nancy Grace during the Casey Anthony trial. Oh, I’m not saying I admire Nancy Grace. Everyone knows she crossed the line throwing her fat about, here and there, on “Dancing With A Star.” But her sign-off on the Casey Anthony trial was, I don’t know, kinda interesting. She signed off with “Goodnight friend.” I kinda liked it. And I set out to have my own. I didn’t want one as serious as “Goodnight friend.” I wanted it to be me, say what I am and what I am all about, me, who is me. And I wanted to make sure that it stayed my property and here’s why. Many people will see a phrase or a sentence or even a movie and say it’s theirs when it isn’t anymore theirs than the stupid, cheap apartments they rent. Haha. Anyway, in order to ensure (not insure but ensure, k?) that my phrase is mine and mine alone I have a thing that I put on it (Steve just walked by and said “I got a thing I’d like to put on it” and then bent over at the waist and laughed so hard he blacked-out) Here is the thing they told me to use. ™. And as you already most probably know I’m sure, my sign-off phrase is “Ta-Ta, LOL ™”

                  I like ‘unique.’ Here is a actress

You see that is why I have “Ta-Ta, LOL™” And so, that is why. I have started another paragraph and that means I should have something more to say, a continuation of the story. But I don’t. But for people that need glasses it looks like I wrote something big and long. Oh well, everyone now! Ta-Ta, LOL™

Bobbie Dooley, President, Western Estates Homeowners Association, Ta-Ta, LOL™