Professor Emory Clayton is Phil's guest tonight as he discusses his belief that the neighborhood watch is dead in America. he himself has stolen "hundreds of dollars worth of stuff" from his neighbors to prove the point. His neighborhood has a very active neighborhood watch group and h hasn't been caught yet. Plus no one would dare confront him anyway as that would be "racial profiling."
Don Berman tries to use the fact that no man he has ever interviewed admitted to doing anything "depraved" in order to get into bed with a woman as proof that people always lie when being asked "poll questions." Bobbie and Steve Dooley call in with their "liquid butter" story but by then Don feels singled out and hurt.
