Tonight, Dave Gintner, a very proud businessman from Orlando is on to defend the Central Florida city after Men's Health magazine named it the most "porn-obsessed city in America." Gitner told Phil he survived getting the crabs from a prostitute on Church Street and seeing his own mother carted off to a psychiatric hospital so he could proudly tell everyone that he masterbates frequently which proves he doesn't wake up every day "jumping into a blue suit and bible-banging like people thing everyone in Orlando does." Steve Bosell was Phil's guest in the second hour claiming that he was sexually harrassed by a massuese because "she had big ones." Mr. Bosell, due to post-traumatic stress syndrome, was unable to actually say the words "breast" or "boobs" The massuese, a Marylynn Donnelly of Palm Springs, California, told Steve to put his underwear back on when she noticed, under the sheet, he had an erection and that is what Steve claims was her harrassing him. Fucking moron.

Steve Bosell doesn't drink but that doesn't stop him from pretending he does and pretending he's drunk at a gathering to watch the NCAA basketball championship game......all so he can impress his workers and look manly But things get confused when Steve slaps Cliff Pedigrew's wife on the ass hoping that pretending he's drunk will give him a good excuse. Lloyd Bonafide buys his 8 year old grandson a .22 handgun and proceeds to shoot up his neighbors garage. Bobbie and Steve Dooley try and work through the trauma of being asked whether or not they're buying lottery tickets....like they need the money.

Dr. Ron Tarner of the Mountain Meadow Observatory in Colorado talked with Phil about the "neighborhood watch vigilante" in his neighborhood who has "his nose shoved up everyone's business." In order to force a confrontation Tarner and his fiance and his friend "Dr. Melton" stripped and puttered around Tarner's yard stark naked waiting for the neighborhood watch guy to say something. Steve Bosell, excited about an upcoming Kiss and Motley Crue tour, went looking for his old Crue and Kiss t-shirts that he got as a teenager. They were gone. His wife April had "given them or sold them to...a Mexican." Steve is questioned by aspiring LAPD officer and hispanic male Dave Oliva. Also featuring tonight Jay Santos, David G. Hall, Vernon Dozier and Mrs Grover, Larry's mom.

Steve Bosell is eating some 30 leftover egg-salad sandwiches as he talks with Phil this evening. Why? Because he and his wife kicked everyone out of their house last Sunday when it became apparent there wouldn't be a Daytona 500 due to the rain-out. Mr. Bosell was upset, vowing legal action against NASCAR. "The NFL is tougher than NASCAR. When it rains they play. But NASCAR...man, they lift them out of the cars and put 'em in a high chair with a baby bottle. All of us...every NASCAR fan..is sucking a baby bottle today because we won't race in the rain."