Larry Grover is back from Iowa and hit the air of the Phil Hendrie Show last night disgusted with Michele Bachman "deep sixing" a corn dog. Larry told Phil he thinks there is no doubt, judging by the relaxed look in her eyes and her jaw seemingly accommodating the gag reflex that Bachmann "makes a daily practice of 'sliding a few"." Jay Santos of the Citizens Auxiliary Police is alerting all Rick Perry supporters that he and his sub-commanders will be at Rick Perry rallys questioning people about "seceding from the union" and "the whole sedition thing...."

We started the show with Jay Santos of the Citizens Auxiliary police. His new "Nightstalker Point of View" training video has some people up in arms. It's a video Jay took with a helmet cam peeking in people's bedroom windows to give the viewer an idea of what a Peeping Tom sees. Art Griego doesn't care what that Southwest pilot had to say about fat women and gays. If it doesn't affect the way you fly the aircraft it's all good. In fact back when Art was a commercial pilot he used to stand in the cockpit door greeting passengers by saying "Hi I'm Captain Griego and I'm a member of a white supremacist organization."

The program kicked off with Jay Santos of the Citizens Auxiliary Police telling Phil that his new security officers service offers a new kind a security guard, an individual who can pretend he's demented  so he scares not only outside intruders but also any of your employees who happen to be stealing office equipment. One of his subcommanders, Randy Gleason, can even do the laugh of a deranged man playing with a hamster. "Phil I think we know from the many horror movies we've seen, the guy who is emotional unstable can tear your arms off," said Officer Santos. The following hour General Gaylen Shaw guested with Phil to defend talk show host Ed Schultz who called fellow host Laura Ingraham a "talk slut." While General Shaw, a fellow liberal,  condemned what Ed said he also couldn't quite bring himself to entirely repudiate it. "How do we know she isn't a slut," said Shaw, "even though I don't like calling her one?"

Tonight Steve Bosell tells us he got called into his daughters school again, this time because she overheard him say he wants to see the Bin Laden death photo. Steve put up with the usual abuse from the liberalized children of CK Corona School but for the first time admitted to wanting to throw Bradley, the know-it-all 11 year old, from his car at a high speed. He also gave us insight into "Mrs Proctor" the school principal who never speaks, always wears a commencement gown and once called his home at night just to be heard breathing into the receiver. Jay Santos of the Citizens Auxiliary Police joined Phil in his second hour to explain why there has been a rash of people on airliners "going crazy" and trying to open cabin and cockpit doors. Jay feels it's some kind of Osama-inspired psychosis but not serious. More serious, says Jay, is attempting to restrain those people. Their "hysterical adrenaline" may kick in and they will have enough strength to tear the door off and "suck everyone out of the cabin!"

Citizens Auxiliary Police Brigadier Admiral Jay Santos is monitoring activity near precious metal  businesses to make sure people aren't buying too much gold and starting a panic. He checks peoples purchases, asks them if they are trying to corner the market, if they plan on reporting the taxes and other intrusive, ignorant queries. In our next hour, Ted Bell tells Phil he was gracious enough to admit to a female customer that it was his condom she found in her baked potato and that he would be glad to comp her a new one. What does he get for his honesty? Listen...