Month: August 2010

….for the painters in the AM…

 

Tonight, Margaret Grey unveils the column she is working on for this weekend, a column about Harley-Davidson and the fact it’s leaving Milwaukee for parts unknown. Margaret says good riddance since Harley’s corporate logo is associated with one-percenters, white trash and assorted outlaws. She tells Phil every woman seeing a Harley go by instinctively clenches her thighs together. Margaret saw a Harley once and began to GPS all the alleys and wharehouses in the area in case she was dragged there and assaulted and needeed to find the quickets route of escape. Margaret also mentioned her concern for the influence the bad-boy image of Harley has on young children. She claims to have seen her son, Jason Jay Delmonico, watch a bunch of Harleys go by one day and then turn to look at her. “He looked me up and down like I was Miss January…his own mother!”

A Freebie!

Yes, the Constitution is the sacred document of our nation. It is our cherished charter, the greatest to have come from the pen of a people looking to perfect the art of self-governance as it struggled to break free from the monarch, the despot, the dictator. But………doesn’t the Consitution also gaurantee my rights to be married? I’m a heterosexual and since time began I have owned the word “marriage.” Now gays want to also have a piece (I’ll bet they do..haha..or I mean, lol) No, they cannot. The Constitution says that…well the Constitution doesn’t say it but everyone knows “marriage” has been for straight people. Everyone knows it. They do. It goes way back. Is that a law, you ask? No but it’s tradition. Don’t we protect traditions in America? Except for slavery and working kids in mine shafts. Naturally, we do not honor those traditions. But marrige is a good tradition. Excluding Americans from things other Americans get to do is not a tradition, you’re right. But…..we don’t let brothers and sisters marry, do we? I know there aren’t a lot of them wanting to get married and there are a lot of gays wanting to get married but if I went out there and asked how many brothers and sisters wanted to get married I’ll bet I’d get a lot of them and then I could mount a campaign and make the gays look stupid. See, what I am saying does make sense. But no one will listen to me because people are all about “rights” this and “rights” that. What about my right to say “you don’t have a right”? What about that? I want people to know that I continue to fight on even though my wife and kids left and my mother mocks the fact I am not circumcised by calling me “missile dick” and doing a fake countdown when I walk into the kitchen in the morning. Mother: “5…4…3…oh, I’m sorry. I meant, 3…2…1….”

 

Reverand David Casanova of David Casanova Ministries joined us to discuss his radical counseling method for women pregnant as the result of rape or incest. It’s called ETL or Extended Trauma Language. Reverand Casanova knows that women who give birth to babies born of such circumstance have a great deal of anger. He tells them that expressing their hostility while not acting on it is healthy. Once the child is born look at it and say “I want to drown you in a tub” or I hope your get drafted and die in a war.” Of course, the woman won’t mean it and the kid will be happy to turn 18 and get away from her so everyone’s a winner. Steven Bosell of Corona, California was on the show to discuss a recent citation he recieved for child endangerment. He and his wife went into a store to buy strawberries while his 2 year old niece was in a hot car, windows rolled up on a 98 degree day. When Steve and his wife came out of the store there was a crowd of people and a cop that had the car slim-jimmed open. Steve wants the charge dismissed. His neice is part Indian, says Steve, so she can take the heat. And she was rehydrated with water and a kool pop. But as for Steve? “Who gives a kool pop to my reputation?” he asks….

 

….watch the rehearsal on the videocast now!!