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Do yourself a favor. Get tickets now for our longer, bigger, harder and yes, more throbbing 2nd one man show July 30 at the Hollywood Improv!

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                photo by James Rambo

Today it was Dr. Ed Elcott talking to Father Guy Jack Rabinowitz, a member of the Elcott clergy about the Diminishing, that which shrinks or shrivels the ego and Hop Singh, the Elcott method of prayer which, respectfully, treats God like a 19th century Chinese “houseboy.”

Phil and the crew got into a foul and offensive discussion after jumping and beating up General Gaylen Shawn for commenting on “how many p****** Marilyn Hickey can fit in her m****. In his defense he did ask Phil to tune the TV away from The Word Network. Margaret had to walk a few off this morning… 

Phil then asked the crew why every morning the show started off with some dysfunctional, emotional fistfight. General Shaw then busted into his rendition of “Jive Turkey.”

Larry Grover was going to discuss the Iraq situation with Rudy Canoza until Gloria, his mother, called in from an “Elcott-The Next Step” seminar in Oakland and aksed if he got the hard boiled eggs she made for his lunch. …

Phil’s on stage July 30 with his second one-man show, “The World of Phil Hendrie: Truth Is Our Bitch” at the Hollywood Improv. Scramble up some tickets…

Ted Bell offers to buy some tickets to the Policeman’s Ball if he can get a cop to “fix” a ticket he unfairly got while driving on the shoulder of the road and racing to “important” business. From May 2001.

 

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                                               The pride of Salt Lake City

Phil offered the opinion that “we are drowning in bullshit” in the world today and that the only real honesty being offered is by hip hop and deathcore metal artists. General Shaw thought it was called Hibbob, named after a tribe of nomadic Arabs

Brass Villenueva and Harvey Weirman discussed the Redskin patent story with Brass saying since he couldn’t get Taco Bell to change their recipes and couldn’t get anyone to care that California used to be part of Mexico that he was “throwing in with the Indians.”

Margaret said that what Phil was talking about was “boogied up.” She said she didn’t mean it racially. She meant that what Phil was talking about sounded the way people dance “in certain parts of town, like they’re having a seizure.”

Wade Belko, a new sponsor that sellls “all things plastic and rubber for the car and the bedroom,” demanded his money back when General Shaw butchered the copy for his commercial. When he tried reading it himself the music drowned him out and he demanded his money back.

Phil butchered up a new “travelogue” segment by forgetting to call his friend Lauren who is traveling through Baltimore….

                                              Can’t play Pipeline forever

The show started with another discussion of the “white middle class males listeners” Phil has who are turned off by hip-hop. Phil said that you can’t sit around your garage playing “Pipeline” forever.

Margaret spotted the same woman she saw yesterday morning on The Word network who seemed to have “overly developed lower jaw muscles.” Speculation then veered, offensively so, into whether any of the women on screen “gobbed” or “coned.”

The show’s panel had Cliff King, horse trainer, back on to recap the Triple Crown and it turned into a cluster fuck as Cliff exhibited signs of serious dementia on the one hand and indications he was just goofing everyone with his “I’ll break a metal pole over my head and I’m 77 years old” act.

Jay Santos of the Citizens Auxiliary Police talked about water safety this summer, especially in the ocean. The oceans power, says Jay, can “humiliate, exploit and manipulate a person. It can almost drown you and then toss you onto the shore like you’re nothing, with your pants pulled down and your butt in the breeze.”

Steve Bosell needs to get his head together after recent terrorist attacks and leave the family and the country for Norway. From May 2002.

 

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   The trestle over Jalama Creek where Dr. Frederick was thrown from a box car

Phil and the crew kicked off talking about the Bee Gees song “I Gotta Get A Message To You” and a version of it by The Soldiers which no one had heard except Phil. The suspicion around that melted into Margaret rummaging through her purse looking for a White Owl. 

Phil talked about his trip to Vegas and his visit with his cousins. He also gave some family history and ripped into Bud yet again for calling their home country “Cananada.” 

Margaret remarked on how handsome a priest on TV was and the General chastised her for “wanting to jump the bones of a priest.” Margaret asked Phil if he thought the man (whispering it) “was gay.” 

Dr. Ed Elcott guested and recapped his appearance on the show last Friday. Jeff Dowdder was interviewed as to his knowledge of “Dr. Fredrickson’s last moments.” The doctor, one of the founders of Elcott-The Next Step was thrown from a box car near the trestles at Jalama Beach north of Santa Barbara