Author: admin-philhendrieshow-dev

And why is that? Well because once Feedburner gets done with your website it looks nothing like what you wanted it to look like. And it does appear that Feedburner and others like it are around for no real reason other than to, once again, fuck up somebody else’s work. Gee, why would that be? Well, having been tossed into the world with no real creative skills of their own but seeing an enormous canvas called the Internet, they decide to get into the We-can’t-do-anything-ourselves-so-we’ll-turn-someone-elses-work-to-shit business. If you are reading this right now off of Feedburner…well, I refuse to believe it. How’s that?

Margaret Grey’s real time Journal Of A Fist-Fight..written right after it happened, Thursday, July 16, 2010, 3:45pm PDT

My heart is still pounding. I was saying to Donna Butt, who is one of our fashion writers, that were I an immigrant at Ellis Island at the turn of the 20th century, I would have insisted they write my last name down correctly. You know, instead of some butchered-up Americanization. And she says…God help me through this…she says “I thought you did come through at Ellis Island.” …Well, there was about a split second worth of silence and she’s looking at me as if waiting for a laugh like she got off a good one…I’m staring at her and way deep inide of me there’s a voice and the voice is saying “Bitch I’m a STAR, bow down hoe” and with that I was on her…..I don’t remember who pulled me off but I had a handful of weave. I’m in Contessa Dicklins office right now. Franks been called..and guess what? I don’t give a s-h-i- (will not spell out the entire word because I am ‘class’. More than Butt will ever be. And what about that last name? Thought about changing it? To Cunt?) I asked where she was and someone said laying down in Jason Facia’s office. And again, to quote Ike Clanton, “Well, I hope you die.” You see, let me explain. No bitch-made, Katrina vanden Heuvel wanna-be get’s to drop s-h-i-(won’t spell because I’m a lady) on me. I’m looking through the blinds in Connie’s office and I can see them helping Butt back to her desk. She’s holding a rag to her mouth and head. I’m calming down. Franks on the other line. I don’t care. Frank’ll take care of it with a check. I only wish she’d sue. Look at that. There’s a paramedic here and he’s holding a tuning fork to Butt’s ear. A tuning fork! Brain damage?! Man, I kicked her ass……

It was a two hour Raj Feneen extravaganza as Raj and his Arabic-speaking son Todd talked with Phil about the proposed mosque at Ground Zero, New York. Raj told Phil that the new mosque was needed because while most immigrants coming to America enjoy seeing the Statue of Liberty, Muslims don’t really like the view because Liberty is a female with no veil and an exposed arm. “You might as well have a dog holding a torch for all it means to me,” says Raj. Predictably the audience reacts negatively as the “dog” theme continues. While arguing with one woman, Raj stops down to ask Phil “Do I have to keep arguing with this woman. It’s as if you are forcing me to argue with a dog.” In the background, Raj’s son Todd is barking and whistling the Lassie theme. By the second hour, Raj has changed gears and switches stories. Now he says he’s in favor of a new mosque near Ground Zero because of the “foot traffic” that is there, making it the perfect spot for a food court inside the mosque. Raj talks about “making a beautiful dollar” with a KFC and a Burger King. Raj tells Phil that he is in fact the owner of a fast food franchise and then offers a 9/11 first responder who calls in “dibs on a Checkers franchise.”

I recieved a communication from a young man who is obviously angry. He messaged me at Facebook. Usually I refer all messages at Facebook to our website as I do not reply to any e-mail save that which I recieve from Backstage Pass members. His message was rageful and hateful. It attacked me personally and professionally. Upon doing some research I found out the young man was confined to a wheel-chair and suffered from SED or what we commonly call “Dwarfism.” Through his anger I saw pain, deep hurt over how fate had dealt with him and I did something corny. I put myself in his  shoes. I decided to break a cardinal rule and communicate directly with a non BSP. I wanted to try something completely different in responding to what we in the business term “hate mail.” His name is Eric and here’s what I wrote him.

“You dirty filthy little man. Do you know what I could do to you if I had 5 minutes to spare and packing tape? You do don’t you? Maybe you wanna come and get some, huh? What do you think circus boy, huh? Wanna get some? I could kill you by looking at you. Just by looking at you with the rage I feel right now I could kill you and your body would ignite and burn which considering body mass alone would take around 6 or 7 minutes and then there isn’t enough left of you to put in an ashtray. Go to hell. On second thought, you’re too small. Go to hell jr. They won’t take you in regular size hell.”

Uh, I’m Ted Bell. They tell me the cap got put on that well. That’s nice. Why I wasn’t given the heads up on that is beyond belief. I make it my business to cultivate friends in the media because they are generally people who have a pipeline to what’s going on. One of those people is..thank you…Phil Hendrie. And yet I have to log onto his web site to find out BP has capped this thing AND that the price of BP stock has started to climb. I don’t care if Mr. Hendrie has a radio show to do or if he has bills to pay or if he has to, you know, as the saying goes, see a man about a dog. When he has potentially lucrative information…strike that…nothing potential about it..when he has lucrative information like this BP well cap and he doesn’t have the common decency to punch on his phone and give me a friendly “drop dead” I don’t know what. He could have called and farted into the phone, screamed, laughed, thrown the phone out of a moving car. That’s how good I am at picking up the cues and reading between the lines. I can hear the sound of a phone being thrown from a car and I know that means BP stock is priced right—jump it, climb it, grunt on it. Sorry for the crudity. But what’s crude is me knowing that BP stock was priced right and I didn’t strike when I had the chance because Phil Hendrie..of the WORLD FAMOUS PHIL HENDRIE SHOW….decided to let me rot in the Okee-fu-Stupid swamp. I’m Ted Bell

…..We’ll have responded to all your e-mail by end of business tomorrow….trust me…..Would I lie to you?

Top Phil Hendrie Show correspondent Bob Bakian tells us that 24 hours in advance of an Apple press conference concerning the new IPhone 4 the company plans no recall of the device. According to Bakian rumors that a massive recall was being planned are the result of internet gossip and competitor Microsoft jumping into the fray with “wild speculation of its own.” In keeping with Phil Hendrie Show policy that we have all reporters reveal their sources, Bob tells us he got this information from the ABC news website, the Microsoft website and “I guessed at some stuff.” Thanks Bob.                Bob Bakian on the scene