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Margaret says Phil plays bands like Chelsea Grin and Beartooth to piss her and others off. She also offers the opinion that her talking about “opening the Bombay doors” (taking a shit) is far less gross than Robert and Bud talking about the same thing… The Bowe Bergdahl controversy was discussed with Margaret saying she’d “wipe with an American flag and post it on YouTube if it got The Delmonico released” from captivity. Bobbie Dooley updated everyone on her activities, announcing she and Steve would head a contingent from Western Estates to Phil’s one-man show Thursday night. She also talked about the Dooley family water skiing at Buttner Lake. “We put out red flags on our dock and on both sides of our speed boat which basically say ‘The Dooleys are afoot….best stay on the dock for the next 30 minutes.”

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The panel began discussing with Phil his tendency to make funny and playful noises when pronouncing certain words and the possibility the audience will call in or email worried that Phil is exhibiting early signs of Lou Gehrig’s disease. General Shaw then did his impression of Lou Gehrig giving his “luckiest man on the face of the earth speech” with his voice gradually slurring into an incomprehensible grunt which Margaret found very funny…. Ted Bell from Ted’s of Beverly Hills discussed the Hollywood Improv show (this coming Thursday) and his idea of thanking the staff and management of the club by using fake names since “no one would be any the wiser.” He crap-canned the idea after Phil told him the people managing the club know what their real names are and would take offense. Phil discussed the drawbacks and advantages of driving California’s coast highway prompting a memory from Margaret of having done just that with Frank “and it was HELL. And stopping at all those little restaurants that serve calamari. They can all go to hell on a shutter!”

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Margaret was bitching about how she didn’t get her VIP pass to Phil’s show at the Hollywood Improv as quickly as some of our winners get their coffee mugs, even one of the guys who won this morning. And they discussed the controversial nature of the VIP giveaway this morning…(listen to the pre-show) Chris Norton joined the program to talk about a new restaurant he’s opening, based on Tex-Mex cuisine. Only he calls it Mex-Tex or “Mess-Tess.” The restaurant will feature Wi-Fi, enabling patrons to “sext” each other (send sexual texts). Hence the name Sext-Tex. Or as Chris calls it “Sexx-Tess.” Whatever. Don Berman was afforded another appearance on the show this morning due to technical malfunctions yesterday morning. What Don chose to talk about was the sale of the Clippers for 2 billion, and of course, carved it up and wound up hanging up on Phil. Did we use the word ‘up’ enough?

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The Amity Afflictions’s song “Pittsburgh” prompts a discussion about “how a guy can sing like that and not have a sore throat.” Then Phil flipped out on a comment made by Gloria Allred to the effect that the Santa Barbara shooter was fueled by “mental illness created by male chauvinism.” Bud and Margaret both wanted to run a “dirty word alert” because of the language Phil was using. But it was too late. Phil talked about how jive a lot of men’s rights groups are… Margaret and General Shaw argued about the phrase “up the butt” and how it relates to the phrase “up an ass.” Steve Bosell discussed Google’s lack of diversity in their hiring and how that’s a light at the end of the tunnel that Steve and other men live in as Google gets all the social love. Don Berman was on as a guest but his phone blew up…

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Margaret started the show with another suspicious addition to the Filth File. “If someone says ‘go gargle’ and it leaves the opportunity for a filthy addendum as in ‘go gargle with you-know-what..'” General Shaw gets jealous of Margaret’s attention toward Geraldo Rivera. “That guy Rivera looks like some chump running a coffee bar, looks like a Mustache Pete.” Phil brought on Dean Wheeler who claimed to be able to smile through anything, referencing what he and Phil thought were “odious comments” by Joe the Plumber. In fact Dean smiled his way through his second wife sleeping with a friend of his and that guy adopting “the Chinese twins.”

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General Shaw wanted to know what happened to the “Allman Skynyrd” band. Phil talked about driving his car into a ditch… Art Griego returns to kick around the notion that the pilot of Malaysia 370 had his head “wedged.” Ran out of gas, wrong direction, plane crashes in a part of the world no one knows anything about….

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Phil and the gang talk about war documentaries on this Memorial Day with Justin McElroy and Steve Bosell. Bosell wonders why there isn’t any “footage” of the Civil War and the Franco-Prussian War and Justin talks about producing a “re-enactment” of World War 1 using the students of LA Canyon High School including “Billy Bobson who plays Archduke ‘Ferdninand’ because he’s fat and owns a fake mustache.”

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Phil and the gang talked about Mark Cuban’s comments concerning his bigotry toward “black kids in hoodies.” The show started of with Iggy Azalea’s “Work” and Margaret wanted to know if Ms. Azalea was white. When told she was, Margaret got confused. The crew mentioned that even Phil would look scary at night wearing a hoodie. “Phil you’d look like a large lumbering thing in the night,” Margaret said. By the way we will have a show Memorial Day!

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The morning starts with Phil bagging on Arbitron, the traditional rating service for radio, because of what he calls their faulty methodology and fraud-like control it has had over the industry. Phil mentioned Sean Hannity’s criticism of audience measurement without being able to talk about Arbitron because the money he’s made has backed up into brain “like that one guy had semen backed up into his brain in Resevoir Dogs,” said Bud. Margaret Grey reveals that if she neck and finger wiggles too much her neck and voice box get paralyzed… Jack Armstrong, liberal blogger, joined the program to discuss countering the right wing climate deniers but hung up with a couple of minutes because Phil laughed at something he said… Speaking of that, Don Berman talked about “his friend Pat Sajak” and Sajak’s tweet about “global warming alarmists.” Don respects Pat but thinks “he may have dived into an empty swimming pool at some point in his life.”

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Short show today as Phil travels to the legendary ville of Tarzana for tax man talks. General Shaw wept as he talked about putting his mother in a nursing facility. The General chose the place that had the best Sunday ice cream social for the old folks. A place that had the old folks bumping into each other eating ice cream was rejected. The General also talked about the wool jock straps his mother used to knit him. Later discussions with Larry Grover about the Tea Party had General Shaw so pissed off her traveled to Larry’s house disguised as a pizza delivery man and beat the shit out of him!

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