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Phil was rolling Ukrainian TV and doing voice-over which made for a pretty funny pre-show, but only on the videocast. Later, General Shaw began discussing the military situation there but it became apparent he was irritable and argumentative and it was then that he copped to the fact he’d taken a handful of Dexedrine before coming on the show… Jay Santos of the CAP advised the citizens of the Ukraine to avoid contact with the military operation. Open the door if need be to the troops, turn your back, hold aloft a jar of lube and have your belt buckle loosened… Dr. Jim Sadler had a touch of the flu and so was bathing as he talked with Phil and the crew about e-cigartette restrictions, partially blaming it on Phil opening his yap about watching a friend “blowing reefer” in a restaurant… Vernon Dozier had his usual meltdown over guys needing their “MA-MA’s” this time over a report that young fathers can suffer from post-partum depression as well as mothers… The Bobbie Dooley Podcast featured another beating of Steve, at the hands of Gene Wiffner for stepping to Gene in a power play…

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Phil had Larry Grover and Steve Bosell on to talk about the Ukraine and the explosive situation there while Steve also mentioned that he had gotten a new mynah bird and was taking it out “for a walk.” He was teaching it to say “Polly want a cracker” but Bud said that only parrots know how to say that. Larry Grover was giving Steve endless amounts of shit until Steve got him good by reminding him that his own mother calls him ‘missile dick.” Don Berman and Margaret discussed the George Polk Award being given to two reporters that broke the Edward Snowden NSA files. Berman said that he’s given his life to journalism and there he sits with a lap top on his knees at the garden equipment expo and meanwhile some guy ‘with a backpack on is being hailed as the next Nellie Bly.” Margaret described the over-modulated download of Fridays show as “someone taking a dump into the RSS feed and labeling it ‘The Phil Hendrie Show.'”

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Phil saw a story that was headlined “Ape Escapes” and launches into a commentary on how monkeys are no longer cute, no longer festive. Monkeys are vicious and one should not “pet or rub a monkey.” Margaret saw that comment as clearly a sexual double entendre and got “a fellow female” on to comment on it, Debbie Daly, the only radio show host who is also hearing and speech impaired. (Debbie Daly’s “Daly’s Daily” show is heard on public radio stations across the country) Margaret, Phil, and the General tried to figure out if a “ping” was picked up or not yesterday. Margaret got frustrated and told everyone else in the studio to go knock on the gate to Devil Town where they’ll get “their hand singed.” Pings were discussed and the location of them and Phil tried to get on someone to demonstrate how sound carries underwater. They finally got a hold of Dean Wheeler who was taking a bath. But then couldn’t reach him back when he didn’t answer… The Bobbie Podcast covered this weekends “Spring Opening” and wound up breaking Gene Wiffner’s nose… Also the pre-show talks about when it is acceptable for white people to use the N word…

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Speech impediments were the order of the day on this morning’s show. Another Phil Phlip Out as well, this time on what a bunch of stumble-bums they have at CNN and Fox on the handling of this school stabbing story. Phil said that they’re all making it worse and they all blow cow. Later on Art Griego gave his morning report on Malaysia Air Flight 370 while Phil was dealing with General Shaw’s voice cracking again and “squeaking out.” Jay Santos talked about the recovery of a kidnap victim by the elite FBI Hostage Rescue Team. Jay got excited about what he said was an operation where FBI people “swooped in and swooped up the guy and then swooped out again.” Meanwhile Jay almost strangled to death on his inability to pronounce the letter “L.” And Reverend Dave Castorini came on the show to talk about same sex marriage but because he apparently had not taken his Adderal his speech started to “Fudd,” or sound like Elmer Fudd.

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The pre-show today is well worth it as Phil tears media and Mr. and Mrs. America a brand new ass. On into the show there was discussion of new pings from the Indian Ocean as Art Griego stood on the runway in Santa Monica reporting. His boss, Bob Cumming had aircraft landing and taking off behind him “so it sounds like I’m actually in Perth, Australia.” Bud’s joke about May Pang’s family having been the main developers of the ping locator, thus missing the chance to call the company Pang’s Pings fell completely flat. Vernon Dozier commented on the “pussies” now working in politics and how guys like Vance McAllister need to just take it like men. “If its caught in the meat grinder then brother, just keep it in there and crank away.” Mavis Leonard talked with Margaret about not being sensitive to Robert and his rough background. “Robert was part of a street gang called the June Bugs. Not very bad ass.” Bobbie Dooley wound up dropping both Steve and Gene Wiffner, who thought when Bobbie said she didn’t want the sound effect of a shotgun “cocking and firing she meant she didn’t want cock.” Steve chimed in saying “there aren’t too many women who want it more” and that’s when Bobbie brought the pain.

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Phil ranted about Facebook and the degenerates that use it… then Art Griego returned with more on the search for Malaysia Air 370 and the fact that he finally got the guy’s name right that’s running the search, Angus Houston, but was still losing his notes in his wife’s grocery list, at one point screaming “I’ll get your tampons when I’m done here” when the line suddenly went dead… Speaking of that, Margaret chalked up her ‘heavy flow’ as the reason she and Bobbie got into it while discussing a high school teacher’s suspension in Santa Monica for wrestling a student he thought was a threat to the floor. Clara Bingham and Pastor Rennick took opposite sides of the debate on a family rescued from their sailboat during a round the world trip because of a sick child…

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Rudy steps over the line with Margaret by giving her the La-La-La with an extra “Yeaaa” that sounds rude enough to prompt a call from Frank… Phil talks about featuring “Quicksand” with Mickey “Roo-NEE” (as Margaret pronounces it). Phil loses it with Bud and makes him cry. He has to apologize… The crew also thinks Mickey Rooney played one of the flying monkeys in “The Wizard of Oz.” Art Griego can’t remember the name of the Flight 370 recovery spokesman so decides to call him “Angus McGee.” He also loses his notes and starts reading from his wife’s grocery list. General Shaw is hard pressed to explain why a member of the Australian Navy, who was on the tube last night talking about Flight 370, would wear camouflage…. Margaret sees Kirstie Alley on a weight loss commercial and is stunned. “Look at her ass. I could cry for her.”

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