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A lot of people think that because I’m married to Bobbie Dooley, I don’t have opinions of my own and I don’t have the guts to express them anyway even if I did. Because I don’t have many opinions of my own but I do feel very strongly about one thing. I wrangled a job as a DJ at The Reptile, a new dance club in Perner, one town over from Corona. And I even picked out my DJ name, DJ Stee D and I was gonna play all the big jams of the day. I got me ACRAZE, I got me Don’t Be Shy by Tiesto, all of it. I got it all on my laptop with Thump and Mackie gear. I mean I had it going on and I had a new pair of balloon pants with the tricolored derby, stilt sandals and thong tuxedo. There it is. And then what do you think happened?
Bobbie calls me up and asks me what all the stuff was jammed into the family room/veranda and I told her about me DJing at The Reptile and she goes, oh you can’t do that. You have to carry the Western Estates Homeowners Association flag in before I make my entrance at the HOA meeting and then hit play on the boom box for “Hail To The Chief.” You gotta do it every Friday night. And I told her that she could get Dylan or Seth to do it, our oldest sons, and she goes oh no that’s date night and they need to be out, socializing and going out with girls to connect with their fathers in business and all that horse … droppings. And I lost it and said she looked like a full dork parading in to “Hail To The Chief” and I felt like her little slob leading her in and I admit I was angry.
Well, she went number two all over my dream. And number one. She’s cut me off and ordered me off of Twitter and now Fridays will be me, as usual, walking into the HOA meeting carrying the HOA flag and looking like her punk. And now I don’t even have Twitter to go to and complain. Stay tuned.

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