NEW YORK (AP) — Larry King, who has interviewed statesmen and stars at CNN for it seems like a million years and unrealistically thought he could stay on top for that long…hello..even though he saw his ratings sag “recently,”* was finally told Tuesday that he should say he will voluntarily step down this fall from his nightly show.

Immediately car horns could be heard across Manhattan as the news spread. This reporter witnessed a cab driver begin an impromptu dance in front of Roby Foo’s on Broadway when told King was leaving.”It’s real? It’s real?” he kept asking. “I never thought, never.” Meanwhile, King was told to say in a message sent to fans via Twitter. ”It’s time to hang up my nightly suspenders. Ha Ha”

King also was instructed to say he will do occasional specials for CNN, another lie. Unless they are the kind Walter Cronkite did for CBS or Britt Hune does for Fox. In other words, they won’t exist. He says he reached his 25-year anniversary this month and says he takes pride in some alleged Guinness Book of World Records citation for hosting the longest-running show on the same network in the same time slot, on the same planet, in the same galaxy..whatever. Calls to Guiness went unreturned.

The long-time radio host was a supposed pioneer in cable television, his desk considered, quoting a bio on his website, “a valued spot to sit for anyone interested in talking to the nation.” It also says on his web site that King’s interview style was” plain-spoken” although it seemed to us occasionally ill-prepared. His web site goes on to claim “he was good at making his guests feel comfortable and ready to talk” Of course that’s not what I heard. What I heard was…well, I better not say. But it has to do with him licking his lips.

As cable news audiences gravitated toward politically pointed shows and newsmakers found many more outlets for interviews (in other words, with more competition) King slipped behind Fox News Channel’s Sean Hannity and MSNBC’s Rachel Maddow in the ratings. That last one, losing to Maddow, made people wonder if the 76 year old had lost touch with this dimension, scrambling to catch up by doing interviews with the likes of Lady Gaga. I will say this though. Gaga did the interview. Who’s advising her?

King was forced to say he felt no pressure from CNN to leave. He was also told to say he began thinking about stepping down as his 25th anniversary week ended, after he interviewed LeBron James, Bill Gates, Lady Gaga and President Barack Obama. He was able to remember all of that and never once refer to the memo.

He claims he’s conducted an estimated 50,000 interviews during a 53-year broadcasting career…give or take 40,000.

CNN is in the midst of trying to save it’s hang-dog ass, trying to give it’s network some kind of pizazz.  The first thing they’re doing is blowing up the prime-time lineup mercifully. Last week it announced that former New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer and conservative columnist Kathleen Parker would co-host an 8 p.m. EDT show on politics and current events. No doubt they are hoping Spitzer rapes Parker on camera. And I am sorry but you know what I say is true.

CNN executives often have said that when ”Larry King Live” ends, it won’t necessarily be replaced by a similar show. What they never said was that they got tired of that format on about the 10th year. So, recent published reports suggesting  ”America’s Got Talent” judge Piers Morgan be a candidate for a show in that time slot are the usual lies. CBS’ Katie Couric had been considered a potential successor, but the unamed executive that floated that idea was fired. Oh my Christ! I made a joke! Couric, a floater if ever there was one, floated at a programming meeting!

King said if it was up to him, Ryan Seacrest would be the best choice to fill his shoes. But, of course, it’s not up to him. Word is the network stopped listening to Larry’s ideas about anything shortly after the Anderson Cooper/Kathy Griffith New Years Eve horror of ’08

*Bullshit release by CNN