In this exclusive report, I have it on some fairly okay authority, kind of, that Lady Gaga 
Lady Gaga and Miley Cyrus
may throw herself on the floor from time to time and “chew on the rug.” Know what I mean? This guy I talked to told me that the reason you never see her with a man, save bodyguards and waiters following her outside to get her to pay a bill, is because she usually packs a “box lunch.” But Gleason Jacky, the roaring, preening gay who currently does an entertainment piece for the Village Voice, told me that no way is Gaga a maneater. He told me that unlike such celebrated (for their art) tomboys as Dusty Springfield and Melissa Etheridge, Gaga is attractive to men. She lets it all hang out. But a true, proficient “labian” takes care to be “female” but not quite “feminine.” Springfield, in her day, wore gowns and had her hair done but at the end of the day looked like a woman pretending to be a man in drag. And I’m sorry because I love Dusty Springfield to pieces and would never, ever make her the object of stupid derision but I just did, I guess. Melissa Etheridge, in her prime, spray-painted the jeans on and used her energy on stage in an attractive manner I suppose but she too was and is way off. You get close enough and she’s just another clam digger.
But my sources tell me that if Gaga doesn’t find something with a penis to hang with soon, the press will eat it alive………I mean the press will eat her alive. A Margaret Grey Moment: I think she’s disgusting now that I’m putting it all together. She sickens me the way I am now attracted to her…but only in a Katy Perry way. I am a straight woman but I now want to strip Gaga down and shove her face first into a pillow and teach it…and her….a lesson.
