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My Family Christmas Letter!

Steve’s brother Shay and his wife Bianca at home in Wisconsin

It’s that time of year again. A time for giving and expressing the love you have at this festive time of the season. It’s time to reach out to family, no matter how far away in space or in dimension or mental state. We are grateful for the family that we will, yet again, gather around us come Christmas Day. We just got this wonderful card from Steve’s brother Shay and his wife Bianca and their three kids, Mikka, Candee and Belle. I really am looking forward to having them for two weeks at Christmas. Steve’s parents, who used to make it out as well every Christmas, won’t be here this year. We grieve their not being here but are happy they are alive. They are getting on in years and being around civilized human beings is more difficult for them when they break wind, belch and behave for all the world like barroom louts. I’m sorry but that’s the truth. Every year I try and pretend like it’s not true. But as they might be dead this time next year it’s time I shoved a few things out onto the table. Sure hope springs eternal. But I know the freak show is on it’s way. Because even though Cord and Melasia, Steve’s parents, won’t be here, Steve’s brother Shay and sister-in-law Bianca and the three whatever’s will be. You talk about five freaks on wheels take a good long look at the jack-ass-ian Christmas card they sent. You ever seen anything more gothically wrong than that? Shay and Bianca are in the foreground in color and the children, people most families celebrate, are black and white spirits hovering in the background, sacrificial lambs to their parents  narcissism, mere props to the technicolor wonder that is Mommy and Daddy. And, not for nothing, but don’t you think if you were going to make yourself the star of the Museum of Natural History Exhibit you’d work on your looks a little. Bianca is just flat ugly. Oh my God is she ugly. And Shay is a frightening meat head. How in God’s name they wound up with even more money than us I’ll never figure. Never. You know what, forget this.

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