Relax Tiger Woods

Ted Bell thinks it'd only be fair if Tiger Woods won "a little less often". from March 2000.(0:19:21)

Diorama Kids

Ted Bell has an idea for his new Beverly Hills Children's Museum: he wants parents of dead children to donate their kids' bodies to the museum, where they will be stuffed, mounted, [...]

Microsoft!

Ted is pissed off that since he invented wrapping foil around the baked potato and now every other restaurant now copies him!(0:02:11)

We Don’t Have The Cripple In Beverly Hills

Ted believes its perfectly fine to park in the blue and white parking spots during the holidays because Beverly Hills just doesn't have enough cripples to justify them!(0:02:49)

God Made Me�Ted Bell!

The caller wants him to shove a baked potato up his butt, a steak knife in his ass cheek and just go to hell where he belongs! Ted bans her from the restaurant forever! All this [...]

Ted vs. The Rich Chick

While Ted is tossing his opinion on how lame people act when they suddenly come into a lot of money, a "Rich Bitch" calls in to let Ted know he sounds just as lame…Ted [...]

Don’t Move In To My Neighborhood!

Ted seems to have a problem with even the thought of Hispanics moving into his plush neighborhood! And did you know Mr. Bell owns a dog named "Taco"?(0:03:33)

Love is Stronger than Ventura County

June 22nd, 1999 - Ted Bell's red-headed son Jeffrey intends to wed an African-American gal, and as usual Ted's just trying to keep up appearances. What hue his grandkids will be: [...]

Who Buys Fords?

Ted Bell, President of the Beverly Hills Automobile Association, explains why Ford is installing inside trunk releases on their new models. from 1998.(0:05:00)

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