Ted Bell says that when you drive behind a high performance vehicle on the freeway you've gotta show some respect and get out of the way!! from KFI.(0:35:47)

Along with the new Peenman Enterprises laser beam security system, Art talks with General Johnson Jameson about the strange phenomenon of the sun disappearing in the later part of [...]

Ted Bell is upset at his nephew for farting in his brand high performance vehicle.(0:10:57)

Ted Bell has an idea for his new Beverly Hills Children's Museum: he wants parents of dead children to donate their kids' bodies to the museum, where they will be stuffed, mounted, [...]

Ted Bell says that until he can get ahold of his son's PASSWORD, he will never be able to control his kid. Afterall, a password is a key to a childs domain! from July 2003.(0:31:16)

Ted Bell does not want his NBA Lakers tickets to go to handicapped children because he believes the famous people sitting around him might think that the kids are malformed from [...]

Ted wants the Dodgers send out renewal notices to season ticket holders with a note that says, "By the way, Shawn Green is Jewish." from Sept 2004.(0:30:42)

Ted seems to have a problem with even the thought of Hispanics moving into his plush neighborhood! And did you know Mr. Bell owns a dog named "Taco"?(0:03:33)

Art Bell and Peenman Enterprises introduce the only cookbook you'll ever need if you just happen to get stranded in the Andes or the Sierra Nevadas with little more than your [...]

Ted Bell thinks he's helping his country by hiring a bunch of out of work dot commers to bus tables and wash dishes at his restaurant.(0:28:58)