A NOTE FROM PHIL
Chris Norton
Chris Norton is the result of three things I encountered in the seventies. One was a band I saw on tv called the Chairmen of the Board whose lead singer sang the words “I got sess’ appeal” in a particular song. The second were some of the amoral single guys I’d see in the bars of Central Florida when I was working in Orlando radio. They had the chains, the shirts open to the navel, drinking rum and banging their best friends girl friends. And the third was a guy who worked weekends at WORJ, the station I was on at the time. This guy had a long, sloppy drawl modulated the way FM jocks did back then to sound deep and sensual. I put those three things together to get the classic dude who thinks he’s hot shit and actually puts most women off. I called him Chris Norton because he needed a generic, vaguely macho name to go along with his sex and self obsessed nature where everything is about getting laid by any chuck who “wants it.” Chris is such a superstar sex stud he sits at a bar surrounded by a velvet rope that is lifted by his friends only if “the chick isn’t hanky.” I was surrounded by idiots like this throughout the seventies in the bars and discos of Central Florida and later Southern California. I just take them to the ridiculous limit, where they spend their time at the local meat market bar, jerking off, watching poem or read machining themselves to be major adult film stars
- Grand Aspirations. Chris Norton is 28, a former DJ and an aspiring adult filmmaker and adult film actor.
- Lifestyle Goals. He lives by himself now, but up until a few years ago he lived at home with his parents till they caught him laying on the coach one weekend masturbating.
- Sessy Lady. Unfortunately, due to a bad sinus affliction, he pronounces ‘x’ or ‘cks’ or ”ts’ as an ‘s’, resulting in common lines like “I’m just fired up with sess’ual energy,” or “I can’t help my natural sess’ appeal.”
- Nightlife. On most nights Chris can be found at the Rusty Pelican bar and restaurant in Redondo Beach where he sits at the bar, surrounded by a velvet rope (I’m usually roped off between siss’ and ten) through which only a select few women are allowed.
- Keeping up appearances. Always tanned with a skimpy speedo… oh, and he shoeshines his hair.
- An odius man. He’s was known to have dumped a woman because she had a “mass’ecomy.” He sleeps with other men’s wives and claims to be able to “cool the husbands out if they walk in on us.” We could go on…
- Politically charged. He once sponsored an event called “No Bush Day,” which we all assumed was in protest of President George Bush. Wrong. It was in fact a day when Chris would shave any woman’s bush who wanted him too in a tent on the beach and get an autographed picture with him too.
