CHARACTER RUNDOWN
A NOTE FROM PHIL

RC Collins

RC Collins is actual the evolution of a character I created in the ’80’s, but never used professionally, named Cleve. The character was inspired by trash talking I was doing with golf buddies (the Swede and some other guys) I broke into the most irritating personality I could think of, a kid, probably a short kid, due perhaps to some malady that stunted his growth but gave him all kinds of attitude. I encountered growing up these kids that knew everything, told you what you were doing wrong when you were building a model airplane, told you about some bad ass relative or friend they had. Just a nonstop talking pain in the ass who was begging to get its ass kicked but you didn’t want to because he was so short. By the time I got to Miami I was doing these tasteless Rocky and Bullwinkle sketches involving Auschwitz/Nazis, really horrible. But the Rocky voice, from the cartoon character, was the perfect Cleve voice. I started developing that character full-on when I got to LA but changed the name to RC Collins, the type of cool guy nickname this kid would give himself. By then RC’s while tragic life started to take shape. I gave him a kidney ailment of the type Emanuel Webster had and had him living with an alcoholic mother up on the edge of the desert in Chatsworth. So RCs whole bullshit bravado became his escape from these shit living conditions…. later, following 9/11 he changed into gung-ho soldier/cadet, based in part on the Taps characters but also as the logical next step for a kid like this. His wealthy father gains custody of RC and he’s enrolled in a military academy (Bradley Military Academy) so his fantasy life goes from being goth to being GI Joe who wants to “eat my own guts” and “come out of a cave with Bin Ladens head on a stick)

The Wrap Sheet
  • Testicle Trials. From an early bout with testicular cancer, RC has only one testicle. This gave rise to RC claiming he had “phantom nut,” similar to “phantom limb” whereby people who have suffered amputation can still feel the amputated limb. RC claimed he could from time to time feel his missing testicle and try to scratch it. Due to this, his voice is comically high, like Rocky the Squirrel from ‘Rocky and Bullwinkle’ which at one time indicated some stunted growth scenario.
  • Other medical issues. There was also a period where he had a terminal kidney disease.
  • Motherly Love. RC’s mother almost shot him one night when she was drunk and RC had snuck into her room to get his lap top leading to RC’s father (divorced from his mother) to take custody and move RC to San Leandro.
  • Caped Crusader. When he was first introduced he was a goth kid from Chatsworth going to school in a cape with a staff, playing basketball and “taking the rock to the hole with my robe flowing.”Questionable Pals. He and his friend Chris Sorensen would “sacrifice” chickens (actually eat barbecued chicken they got from Ralph’s while sitting  in a train tunnel). RC’s other goth friends were Billy the Impaler and a 7 year old named the Lawgiver. The Lawgiver believes he can turn anyone into an apple if he tries hard enough.
  • Military Career. After 9/11 he was enrolled in Bradley Military Academy, Altadena and became hardcore, talking about coming out of a cave with Bin Laden’s head on a stick and having the right to sex with your daughter since he could die in the War on Terror. RC also made friends with another cadet, a big dumb guy named Watkins or Cadet Watkins who believes himself to be so tough he can beat the shit out of Michael Meyers from the  ‘Halloween’ films.
  • Life Today. Today RC is graduated and working part time “at fathers plant, supervising.” He is also interning with other frequent show guests like Steve Dooley in his landscaping business, Stephen Bosell in his construction business and Doug Dannger (who almost beat him up) in the newspaper business. He also guest hosts the Saturday Cinema show with General Gaylen Shaw. 


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