Margaret Grey is promoting a new program which has celebrities call chronically truant kids and encourage them to attend school. Margaret explains that, of course, children in LA and New York are used to being around celebrities, but kids out in “the hinterlands, the sticks” would get a kick out of hearing from Larry the cable guy, Jeff Foxworthy and, yes, even Charlie Sheen.
Jay Santos of the Citizens Auxiliary Police will be out and about this weekend with his sub-commanders to take peoples temperature on the Egyptian situation. If people like what’s going on (Mubarak resigned) then they get “a tip of the pith helmet and we wish them a very pleasant and productive afternoon.” But if they do not like the current situation then Jay says he directs them to “go dark on talk radio and Fox TV.” If they say no they won’t then Jay says yes they will and lets this retorting go on until the person takes a punch at Jay. “That’s the best,” says Jay “Because then we slam them to the cement and get their face right down into it so their mouth and nose are squished together.”