Hour 1: Ted Bell joins Phil to discuss performance cars. Ted talks about his Jaguar Vanden Plas that his nephew got in and farted. His nephew, who Ted can't seem to remember the name of, has ruined the new car smell and the resale value is now 3000 dollars lower. Ted believes it was a willful act because his sister in law has always hated him.

Hour 2: Bobbie and Steve Dooley are on to promote couples should go out and not stay home on New Years Eve and not stay home and watch Dick (Clark) because that makes you a loser. Bobbie wants to attract younger couples to buy in Western Estates and she will even risk drinking and driving to go out on New Years Eve. Bobbie's solution was to send out a memorandum to Western Estates homeowners to go out for at least 2 hours on New Years Eve. While Bobbie calls callers losers, Steve cant resist making dick jokes in the background. Phil then played a flashback with Alf who was a secret Santa to widows of WWII veterans. The caveat is he gives them a crisp $100 bill and expects sex.