Monday, September 20, 2004
Hour 1: Vernon Dozier is a coach who says women reporters on the sidelines don’t know anything and are just there for sexual reasons. Sideline reports are too sexy!.
Hour 2: On “The Cowboy Jim Show,” Jim asks the kids to join him around a “roaring camp fire” and tell wild-west tales. But no one knows how to properly work the gas-powered fireplace and an errant match strike ends the show with a bang. Margaret Grey, staunch John Kerry supporter, calls to hype her appearance on the show tomorrow. She says the presidential hopeful will, “fight terrorism whever he finds it, unless it’s in Iraq.” Dan Rather makes a wind-swept call from “inside” hurricane Ivan to report on the citizens affected by the storm. But it’s soon revealed that the violent sounds of wind and water are because Dan is really reporting from a drive-through car wash. When Phil calls home to put his wife on the air, he is surprised to hear Bud Dickman answer his home phone. And Bud, annoyed by having his lunch interrupted, hangs up. Phil calls again and gets David G. Hall, who has joined Bud and “the guys” for a game on Phil’s pool table – since his wife is out of the house. Gavin Snell’s computer show is here to answer all of your tech questions. Unfortunately, Gavin doesn’t know anything about computers so he cranks up his theme music when the callers begin to mock him. In this flashback, Ted Bell complains that he’s demonized for having an affair, yet it’s OK for Kobe Bryant to do the same thing.
Hour 3: Steve Bosell is suing Microsoft because Halo caused him to whip his son after he lost a competitive round with him. He says this is just like the problems with the tobacco companies. Closes with Harry The Freak McMillan, conservative.