Friday, March 19, 2004 Hour 1: VARIETY. Hour 2: RC Collins says that hockey ought to replace basketball because it's making American soldiers too effeminate. Hour 3: Vernon Dozier says Little League coaches don't get the respect they deserve, and parents seem to have more respect for the lady who works in the snack shack.

Thursday, March 18, 2004 Hour 1: Bobbie Dooley is reassuring white people after news from the Census Bureau that Latinos will soon become the dominant ethnic group in America. Hour 2: VARIETY. Hour 3: VARIETY.

Wednesday, March 17, 2004 Hour 1: VARIETY. Hour 2: Steve Bosell says that gay marriage will redeem itself because gays dress sharper and have nicer ceremonies than most straight couples. Hour 3: Tony Neil is a TV producer who wants to produce a program where white people teach blacks how to balance checkbooks.

Tuesday, March 16, 2004 Hour 1: Art Griego says teens are committing suicide because they realize how stupid they are. Hour 2: VARIETY. Hour 3: VARIETY.

Monday, March 15, 2004 Hour 1: VARIETY. Hour 2: Dean Wheeler, Democratic campaign manager, says another terrorist attack might be good for helping get John Kerry in office. Hour 3: Paul McNamara, broadcast CEO, thinks we can win over terrorists by spreading American culture into their countries, and that seniors ought to bankroll this since they've helped screw foreign policy up so badly.

Friday, March 12, 2004 Hour 1: Ted Bell blames Phil's complaining about high gas prices on the larger number of undesirables coming into Ted's high-class steakhouse. Hour 2: VARIETY. Hour 3: VARIETY.

Thursday, March 11, 2004 Hour 1: VARIETY. Hour 2: Father James McQuarters says that Mel Gibson should become Pope because he has done more to spread Christianity than any other cleric. Hour 3: Bob Green turns a blind eye to his son disrespecting his teachers because he's an overachiever and scored 1420 on his SAT.

Wednesday, March 10, 2004 Hour 1: Doug Dannger says that straight people have destroyed the concept of marriage, and he wants to help them see the light. He's babysitting a crying baby belonging to his white trash sister. Towards the end he starts yelling at the baby. Phil closes with a short rant about Sprint not tracing their phone records on a Presidential death threat he received. Hour 2: VARIETY. Hour 3: VARIETY.

Tuesday, March 9, 2004 Hour 1: VARIETY. Hour 2: Vernon Dozier is a gas station owner who takes it as a grave insult if you complain about the high price of gas. Hour 3: Justin McElroy is a teen who counsels other teens, and claims he comes from a dysfunctional family because his parents won't buy him an xBox.