On tonight’s show, University of Washington engineering professor Don Micksa tells Phil that by accident, when calling a friend of his, he got on the line with his friends 20 year old daughter, a woman he had seen and admired on campus. Because he has a “Jack Friday-sounding voice” the young lady asked him if he was a cop. Don decided to lie and say he was, a “Faran Benton of the Seattle police.” They are 8 months into their relationship now and Faran….I mean….Don wonders if he should tell her who he really is before they sleep together or after. He may be using her, yes, but she may be using him to get some parking tickets fixed. We then brought on the line Doug Dannger of the Orange County Courier. Doug, a “gay man and gay journalist” believes that Whoopi Goldberg walked off The View the other day because Bill O’Reilly provoked her into doing it. O’Reilly, says Doug, hates blacks because he’s an Irish-American and Irish-Americans have carried around their resentment of blacks since Civil War days when the Irish didn’t want to go to war to free black people. 
Doug says it’s in O’Reilly’s DNA to look in the mrror and see himself as a monkey wearing a derby and sipping from a whiskey bottle while Whoopi is “Abe Lincoln’s own black woman.”
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