Friday, August 30, 2002 Hour 1: FIRST HALF. Phil on Guns & Roses and stagnation of rock and roll. SECOND HALF. Seeing Def Leppard at the 1993 state fair, Eminem. . Hour 2: Larry Grover has a pamphlet Dating Tips For Divorced Men. He says men should be picky about women, not the other way around. He puts Muslim ideas in a Christian light. Hour 3: Steve Bosell lost his son's respect when he showed Axel Rose on TV and it stunk. Another father showed him up by taking his kid to see Linkin Park and they had fun.

Thursday, August 29, 2002 Hour 1: Margaret Gray's had a party for her son Jason Jay Delmonico, and his female classmate danced to "You Can Leave Your Hat On" and "All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth" while wearing a leotard and squirting milk on herself out of a milk bottle. Margaret showed the boys how to respect women by teaching them how to fold up a dollar bill and present it. Hour 2: FIRST HALF. David G Hall says there is too much money invested in Phil Hendrie, and everyone else is dispensible. SECOND HALF. Phil on San Diego, sports. Hour 3: FIRST HALF. Phil on reality shows, Catholic church suits. SECOND HALF. Finding clothes to wear, playing phone games.

Wednesday, August 28, 2002 Hour 1: Lloyd Bonafide is an elderly RV driver who sent a lady into the Snake River because she was tailgating. You NEVER tailgate an RV. Hour 2: Vernon Dozier says upper lip hair on women is the result of a cabal of lesbians, feminists, and hermaphrodites. David G Hall interrupts to demand a new topic. Phil and Bud try to come up with ideas. Hour 3: FIRST HALF. Phil talks about moving on past 9-11, beers, Phil talks to callers. Amstel Light. SECOND HALF. Breweries, talking to callers about beer. Flashback of 2002-08-27a BDO.

Tuesday, August 27, 2002 Hour 1: Bobbie Dooley is doing "Princess Diana: My Heart Will Go On", a one-woman show, for various middle schools. It shows Diana with a steering wheel coming out of her chest. Hour 2: FIRST HALF. Phil talks about skimpy wear in beach volleyball, watching tennis players underskirts as a kid. Bud Dickman's Brain Teasers. SECOND HALF. Phil wonders about killers mental diseases. Flashback of 2002-08-26c. Hour 3: Ted Bell is having a 9-11 anniversary fundraiser for charity, but lets on that it will be going to the construction of a tennis court.

Monday, August 26, 2002 Hour 1: FIRST HALF. Phil on baseball, talks to callers. SECOND HALF. Lloyd Bonafide on the horror of Ward Cleaver killings. Flashback of 2002-08-23b. Hour 2: Don Parsley's daughter died in a car accident driving off a cliff. He says she was 16, then 8. Don says his wife cries herself to sleep every night and can't get out of bed, then he says she was lost to uterine cancer. His story keeps changing. Hour 3: Doug Dannger is physically forcing people out of movie theaters if they don't recite which critic supported the film. He says the worst thing American Idol is doing is allowing people to vote, because the singers suck.

Friday, August 23, 2002 Hour 1: Charlie La Fountain is an ad agency man who wants to use murderer David Westerfield as a spokesman since he has a bad boy image. He could represent Old Spice. Hour 2: Steve Bosell was unfairly accused of cutting a fart while getting out of a leather seat in a car. The lady said he smells like a pig and he said she smelled like tuna, and Steve says it's a classic stand-up comedy comeback. He compares the accusations to OJ Simpson's plight. Should he still remain friends with the family even though they have a golfing tee-off time at 7 am?. Hour 3: FIRST HALF. Phil talks about Opie & Anthony's stunts. Phil comments on anti-Bush protests. SECOND HALF. Phil auditioning bands for his birthday party. Lucky Mamas "Dem Changes", Musidora "Let It Fly", Violet Vertigo "Freud", etc. Flashback 2002-08-22a.

Thursday, August 22, 2002 Hour 1: Jay Santos is going door to door asking men over 35 years of age questions to make sure they aren't kid-killing freaks. Hour 2: VARIETY. At 14m Bobbie Dooley goes into a church hearing the organ music celebration from the Father James McQuarters bit on 2002-08-21c. Hour 3: Chris Norton wants to make a porn movie at New York City ground zero called "Nine Or Eleven, Take Your Pick, Let The Healing Begin". Actors include Tad Pole, Raymond Bone, Rick Stretch, Woody Woodlovepecker, and Bobby Balls.

Wednesday, August 21, 2002 Hour 1: VARIETY. Hour 2: Bobbie Dooley was in San Diego to see the Van Damme trial, and is upset at the bailiff because she couldn't swipe an evidence photo as a souvenir, and because they weren't allowed to eat food in the courtroom. Hour 3: Father James McQuarters comments on the couple that had sex in St Patrick's Cathedral as part of an Opie & Anthony radio stunt. He says turning the house of God into a whorehouse is much worse than the molestation scandal and taking a wee peek. A priest starts playing organ music in the background as they are celebrating the molestation scandal being off the front page.

Tuesday, August 20, 2002 Hour 1: Bob Green introduces the new Twin Towers Bra. He got beat up at a trade show for comparing a woman's sagging breasts to the World Trade Center. His slogan is "You may not be able to rebuild these, but you still have a chance to rebuild these." Hour 2: Margaret Gray discusses the pre-Amber alert system. Important kids like her son Jason Jay Delmonico (who she says has a nice butt and was picked to go on the bridge of the Disney Cruise) are important to the human race, so it's important to get their information out to the public before an abduction occurs. Hour 3: VARIETY.

Monday, August 19, 2002 Hour 1: Dean Wheeler says Americans are acting like chickens and diaper-dirtying babies about the 9-11 attacks. His confrontational therapy involves putting on diapers and confronting one's fears. Hour 2: VARIETY. Hour 3: Jim Sadler speaks to the dead by giving widows Rohypnol and "finding" jewelry, money, PIN numbers, and other valuables. He claims he helps them pay their debts. When he doses the clients he plays an ominous pipe organ riff (Phantom of the Opera Overture) because it evokes respect for the dead. "Crossing Over".