Category: Phil Pheed

 

 

Tonight, Art Griego, a videographer, reveals he has video recorded thousands of child births secretly in hospitals around southern California so there is a record of them. He holds them in an archive at his house. He approaches the parents and offers to sell the tape to them but if there are no takers he lets them know he’s going home to watch the tapes over and over and over again…in the hopes that the husband will get pissed off and make a purchase.

               You idiot. Where’s the camera?!

Next up was Dr. Ron Tarner who has scheduled a science fair for Super Bowl Sunday and he doesn’t care if students and parents miss the game. You see Dr. Tarner once had a promising football career in college but he played behind the great Ed McCaffrey at Stanford, a “white guy who was a wide reciever. Pretty rare.” McCaffrey got drafted, Dr. Tarner didn’t and Dr. Tarner has hated football ever since. “To put it simply, if the choice was between mating two hamsters or letting the NFL exist, I’d send the NFL–players, coaches, owners–into The Furnace

Get one, two, four….as many as you need (we don’t want to be nosey) Hit “Shop”

Tonight Austin Amarca, who does kitchen cabinet work and is a lifelong Republican, told Phil that while he was happy to see Obamacare called unconsititutional by a Florida federal judge he felt it hypocritical to appalud an “activist judge legislating from the bench” when as a conservative he doesn’t like it when they decide something for liberals. He told Phil he was going to come out against this judge and not be a hypocrite. He said he would feel “cheap and dirty” if he didn’t.

       What Don Berman probably looks like

Next up Don Berman, channel 19 newsman, checked in from Cairo, where he had spent the last 48 hours being abused and assaulted by Egyptians and yet no one was reporting on that, only what Anderson Cooper was going through. Don said everytime he saw Cooper, he was sitting in the sauna wearing no towel, holding an unlit cigar and “holding forth for all his male interns about all the places he’s been and the people he’s seen.” Don on the other hand had to put up with no laundry service after four, no on-demand movies, having to eat oriental pastries and drink turkish coffee. “I wore the same suit for 2 days. It stunk. It stunk when I put it on in LA.”

…which stands for BACKSTAGE PASS

……and are now available for direct download! Cheers,  -Alex

Tonight, Raj Feneen, an Egyptian-born businessman living in the United States, told Phil and his listeners that the unrest in Egypt can be turned toward establishing a western-style democracy. But it’ll take American money and American troops. After all, it was America, “like a hot looking woman walking down the street that you want to get your hands on” that showed the world how good democracy is. Time to help finance all those retractable domes, giant shopping malls and movies that Egypt wants to get going

              Money For A Retractable Roof

Later on Bobbie Dooley, while taking a bath, told Phil she made a unilateral ruling over the heads of the school administration: As the PTO president she rulled that a Sikh student at Western Estates Elementary would be allowed to wear a symbolic dagger because of religious freedom. But she also ruled that a Christian student would not be allowed to pray because “Christians have had it good long enough.” Bobbie was taking the bath by the way because of a migraine that had come on while she was dealing with this stuff at school.

…..maybe……(kidding)