Is the government looking to siphon our minds dry as Vernon Dozier and Jay Santos of the Third Wheel Society articulated on Wednesday night show? Tonight, the show returns with Don Berman and a young friend, Davey Cullen , a kid Don tried to help with weight loss as he dieted too for a news segment. Turned out though that Don would ride in a pace car eating Debbie Cakes and peanut butter sandwiches because he needed to keep his strength up for the 6pm news whole Davey jogged behind it, tied to it with a rope. Don also was bringing Debbie Cakes to Davey's house because he had the hots for Davey's older sister... Jay Santos of the Citizens Auxiliary Police came on to argue the "false-flag conspiracy theory" whereby the government fakes terrorist events to further strip rights from private citizens... When Jay butchers it up, Vernon Dozier comes on to try and save it by stating that he believes the government has put a camera in his toilet and that Janet Jackson was "locking eyes with me" while appearing on television. And other crap...

Jay Santos of the Citizens Auxiliary Police was the guest host tonight as he talked about the different procedures of the volunteer force. Major Elvis Newton made a rare appearance from a subcommander cruiser as he observed what he thought was a speeder. He and subcommander Pyvell tried to do a "frontal flare drop" but the speeder kept going around them before they could get the flares out. So on they'd go trying to get ahead of the guy. Finally it turned into a high speed chase with Major Newton and now subcommander Gleason (Pyvell had tried to strangle Newton earlier so he was ordered out of the truck) tailing the car right on its bumper. When they went around the side to get the drivers attention they found out he was a police officer. The tables were turned and Major Newton found himself being chased by the cop...

Phil had Don Berman on the line from Los Alamitos Race Track where Don was spendiong the evening after being suspended by Channel 19 for saying the only women you could "pick up" at Wal-Mart were fat women with 10 kids...and he used his co-anchor Beckie Blondell as an example of one. While Don railed against the injustice of it all, he slowly got drunk and lost every race he bet, at one point calling for the rendering into glue of every horse he put money on.... Jay Santos joined Reverand Dave Castorini later in the show to tell Phil he was behaving inappropriately by "reaching down into his jean" (singular) on PhilTV during breaks and looking as if he was "handling heavy equipmnt or laying giant sewer pipes." Margaret gave another ridiculous lesson in foriegn language, this time Portuguese, or as she called it "Portu-guay."