Facility 3

, a sect of religious people who believe to have contact with extra terrestrials.(0:06:59)

Ride in My BMW

In an effort to raise money for his restaurant, Ted Bell offers to drive people around in his BMW for $200 an hour.(0:29:47)

Dot Com Revenge

Ted Bell thinks he's helping his country by hiring a bunch of out of work dot commers to bus tables and wash dishes at his restaurant.(0:28:58)

Superbowl Package

, for $400 he will provide transportation, food, tickets and accommodations to the big game.(0:28:45)

Ted Bell’s Salad Bar

Ted Bell says he'll stand over his "All you can eat" salad bar and tell his customers they are looking a little overweight, a customer named Clara Bingham calls in to complain.(0:28:21)

Headsets Are For Retards

Ted Bell is afraid people will think he's crazy if he wears a headset on his cell phone while driving. from November 2003.(0:37:05)

Fire: The Book

Ted Bell is publishing a coffee table book that will honor the challenges firefighters face everyday.(0:18:42)

Dodger Season Tickets

Ted wants the Dodgers send out renewal notices to season ticket holders with a note that says, "By the way, Shawn Green is Jewish." from Sept 2004.(0:30:42)


General Jameson has been experimenting with trans vibrations... he is trying to make his niece sound like an opera singer. from October 2005.(0:07:51)

The Mercedes Loaner

Ted is very upset that when he took his top of the line Jaguar in for repairs he was given a Mercedes E class with vinyl seats as a loner! from March 2002.(0:29:49)

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