"Dennis," calling from "Bramford, Massachusetts" opened up a can of worms tonight when he said he was a conservative in favor of Obamacare because it would, if enacted, pay for his wife's "gluteal enhancements." Dennis said his wife "has an ass like a 90 year old man" and it causes her deep psychic pain....and him too. As it is he's going to have his wife get the procedure and then stiff the doctor and hospital. RC Collins from Bradley Military Academy told Phil that ever since he has been dating this girl named Margerite he's decided he's against the death penalty. So even though he's "good to go" and ready to "eat his own guts" for his country he would not have been able to go on the Bin Laden mission. After all, he wants to "spend the night" some night with Margerite and he has to be against the death penalty and other stuff to do that.

Starting out tonight Justin McElroy, a 17 year old high school junior, talked with Phil about a paper he did for his social sciences class. It was his opinion that the New Jersey people who named their kids "Adolph Hitler" and "Aryan Nations" had the right to do so and should not have had their children taken from them. Later Justins father, Dan McElroy, a man who made millions operating a "string of assisted living centers for seniors" came on the show to call out Phil and others for the way he believed Phil treated his son. At issue was whether or not RC Collins used the term "gloidamac" (the combination of 'mongoloid' and 'maniac') in referring to Justin. He had not but had used "gloidiac." As the result of Justin lying his type A father beat his ass. Margaret Grey believes Bill O'Reilly is working with Mary Katharine Ham just so he can eventually call his show "Bill O'Reilly and his Ham."

RC Collins, a cadet at Bradley Military Academey, took exception to Phil's pre-show tirade and the language that he used and with David G. Halls help used that to get Phil to talk about the Miami face-chewing episode and whether it was inspired by the Walking Dead...Margaret Grey, in order to cheer Phil up, sang (or butchered) the song 'Bridge Over Troubled Water." She also carved "Waiting For A Girl Like You" a new ass. Doug Dannger and Pastor William Rennick debated two Abraham Lincoln movies coming put this year; "Lincoln" with Daniel Day-Lewis and the action/schtick flick "Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter." Pastor Rennick claimed that Lincoln "could kick Dracula's ass, that Interview with a Vampire vampire's ass, Blade's ass and those little twinkle-toe Twighlight vampires' asses!"