Steve Bosell is suing Las Vegas. He says he has gone there with the sole intention of going to his hotel room, taking a shower, putting on a nice cardigan sweater and a pair of Dockers and going down stairs to the tables to play black jack and drink ice water. But no sooner does he get off the plane then the doorman at the hotel is “sending messages telepathically” telling him to go to Olympic Gardens where Steve proceeds to get drunk and drop 1500 bucks on lap dances.
Phil announces the pilot he was a part of is done. Then Phil takes credit for having spotted this “finger in the chili” hoax way back when the whole thing broke. Some chick calls the show to say she thinks its funny but also racist and sexist. Then Phil tells Bud to take Phil’s cat Ruffle into the office because its making too much noise. So he does. The next thing, Phil goes to a call and its the cat meowing into the phone.
Art Bell and General Johnson Jameson, with the help of the listeners, decipher a coded message being sent by a race of microbe sized people living on a slide under General Jameson’s Nuclei Microscope. The message says: “You are a walking arse log.” Then Phil talks about how the automobile is obsolete and the only thing keeping it alive is the ego-fixation people have with it. David Hall calls to say he has found a man’s “thing” in his fish and chips and is suing the fast food chain that he bought it from tomorrow morning. Phil doesn’t believe him. Then Jeff Dowder calls to recap some food myths: that brewery workers peed into the Corona vats in Mexico and that someone found a derby hat in a jar of Gerber’s Strained Peaches.