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Hour 1: Don Berman from the Channel 19 news room is on to talk about new, stringent FCC guidelines being proposed for broadcasters. He says they are welcome in light of the fact they protect children from indecent or improper material. But he cautions that once you file a complaint about a broadcaster, your name and address becomes public record and the disc jockey or talk show host you helped get fired, already working in a business with unstable people, may fuel himself on Benzedrine and Johnny Walker Black, gain access to your residence in the middle of the night, attack you in your bed and make a mask out of your flesh.

Hour 2: David G. Hall, VP of Syndication, says the one thing a man wants to hear from other men is…”My compliments on the beautiful woman you are with.” David wants to make sure he hears that every time he is out with his new fiancé Gretchen. She is 5’5″, 102 lbs and looks like Carmen Electra. If David doesn’t hear that compliment about Gretchen, he is going to rethink their relationship. Obviously it means she is not beautiful enough.

Hour 3: Vernon Dozier’s wife has been in a coma for the last 2 years. He wants to honor her families wishes by keeping the feeding tube in her but the bills are piling up and he has recently started dating a 30 something flight attendant/tennis player who is “high maintenance.” He says that unfortunately he may be forced to remove his wife’s feeding tube if he doesn’t get a piece of his father-in-laws lucrative building supply business.

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