Tonight Bobbie and Steve Dooley discussed a particular LA Times reporter on the Piers Morgan Show who was "very clearly auditioning for a news contributor job with CNN but who, when she smiled and we saw the left side of her face, had a gaping gap in her teeth that was very off-putting." Ms. Dooley also took Mr. Morgan to task for serving beer in pint glasses at the "CNN Grill" and making it look very "English" which is not what the Republican party "is all about." Ms. Dooley also claimed to have vaulted two Secert Service SUV's during the Reagan funeral procession to "get a comment from Nancy." Later Margaret Grey commented on the many female delegates who looked to her like "a Roman rabble giving the thumbs down on some gladiator about to be run through." Ms. Grey continued: "I found the women to be corase and real hard on the eyes."  Don Berman joined the show later on to talk about his fond hope that some day the 11 o'clock news will be renamed "The Don Berman Report."

Tonight, Gene Decarta, Vernon Dozier's brother-in-law, talked about imagining a street sign coming loose from the hurricane winds in Louisianna and slamming into Anderson Cooper's head, such is his dislike of CNN's whole editorial stance. Dean Wheeler came on and said it was funny that he wanted to see the Fox reporter lifted off the ground by the wind and carried backwards at a high rate of speed through a glass store front. Bob Bakian, the reporter who can't speak or even function intelligently without "news music" behind him, reported from New Orleans on the progress of Isaac. Chris Norton and Dr. Jim Sadler talked about STD's in the porn business and how Chris infected Jim's wife-to-be in a sex scene on her last day as an adult film actress.

Phil just talked to the audience tonight......Listen. There might be some wisdom in there for you.

Bob Green, CEO of Frazier Foods, finally let it all hang out tonight. What he's been threatening to do for years he did: Let all of his racism come shining through. Ostensibly, he wanted to talk about a barking dog next door and how those Humane Society commercials take the edge of his anger away. Then he let a Hispanic caller have it, saying he didn't like "Mexicans" bringing up the subject of his wife. Finally Green said he had a problem with the Western Sky Financial ads because "its Indians offering to lend money to white people." Phil talked about the Empire State Building shooting with Bud, Robert and RC Collins. Chris Norton checked in to talk about the STD epidemic among porn performers in LA and Europe and Steve Bosell called from his "meditation pond" to make sure we knew he was the first guy to say the phrase "I'll cut yooouu" on our show.

Good evening and tonights show log features a visit from Lloyd Bonafide who was going to tell us about a planned trip to the Republican National Convention but first went into the fact his wife is deaf, that he's warming up his truck to come kick Bud's ass, that he got into a fight at Der Weinershnitzel and that his friend Earl Klue beat him in a game of dice in an alley in Tampa in the fifties. Margaret Grey, in her bath tub, started singing "The Last Thing On My Mind" wretchedly and talked about those horrible depressing Humane Society commercials. They are so depressing Margaret said she believes the Humane Society is filled with "closet sadists" who "get their kicks" showing those commercials over and over again...

Tonight Rudy Canosa, from J'Tem Lingerie in Sherman Oaks, California, tried to give his opinion of Todd Akin's ungentlemanly conduct while foghorns and cow sound effects are firing off in the back ground, alarms used by Rudy and his staff to alert them to "plus-sized" women entering the store. Richard Hopper was Phil's guest in the following hour, a man who wanted so much to sell American products that he bought stuuf from Mexico and Panama, took off the labels and replaced them with "Made in America" With Father James McQuarters, Father Staley and Bill Kenny...