Friday, August 22, 2003 Hour 1: VARIETY. Hour 2: Bobbie Dooley coerced area homeowners to vote for Schwartzenegger so she could attend the inaugural ball. She took revenge on those who complained. Hour 3: (FIRST HALF) Vernon Dozier is a high school coach whose championship game conflicts with his wife's mammogram, and he says she'd rather be with some nurses feeling up her breasts. He says the only kinds of nurses that would go into that line of work are dykes. (SECOND HALF) Phil rants about politics, foreign policy.

Thursday, August 21, 2003 Hour 1: Herb Sewell has a crazy theory about the Sobig computer virus, saying it can mutate and leave the electronic realm and it was put there by marginalized telemarketers. Hour 2: VARIETY. Hour 3: VARIETY.

Wednesday, August 20, 2003 Hour 1: VARIETY. Hour 2: Ann Coulter. Hour 3: Doug Dannger is writing a book called Tough Love. As a gay man he goes around, offensively criticizing normal families and describing how they're stupid. They consider what he has to say and sincerely thank him. Doug says it's because they're reaching out for honest criticism.

Tuesday, August 19, 2003 Hour 1: Art Griego accidentally ran over a neighbor's kid. He claims the kid committed suicide from being part of a terrible family. Hour 2: VARIETY. Hour 3: VARIETY.

Monday, August 18, 2003 Hour 1: RERUN of 2003-07-02 hour three. Adjusting bikini bottoms. Hour 2: Ted Bell is unable to hire an underage girl at his restaurant because the father refuses so he threatens to tell the Chamber of Commerce that the father admitted having a homosexual dream. Hour 3: RERUN of 2003-01-28 hour one. Safe house for viewing porn.

Friday, August 15, 2003 Hour 1: VARIETY. Hour 2: Don Parsley's claims his wife was killed by a transit bus while looting a TV in Akron during the recent power outage. He asks callers for donations but his story begins falling apart. His kid needs a cup of milk but Don is in a bar having a beer: "Ain't no law against that." Hour 3: Bob Green gave his employee a raise, she said 'praise Jesus' in front of customers, and he lost his temper because she was proselytizing.

Thursday, August 14, 2003 Hour 1: VARIETY. Hour 2: VARIETY. Hour 3: VARIETY.

Wednesday, August 13, 2003 Hour 1: Dean Wheeler says that liberals are trying to destroy private schools. Hour 2: VARIETY. Hour 3: VARIETY.

Tuesday, August 12, 2003 Hour 1: VARIETY. Hour 2: Vernon Dozier claims that parents, not coaches, are making their kids unable to perform in hot weather because they are soft on them. Hour 3: Steve Bosell is pre-emptively suing his daughter after an embarrassing incident when buying a training bra for his daughters. He says the women of the world are trying to make men out to be perverts so they can take all their money. His wife put him in this position and Roy Hutchins made fun of them.

Monday, August 11, 2003 Hour 1: Clara Bingham claims it's racism that Bob Hope's death made headlines but Gregory Hines death was ignored. Hour 2: VARIETY. Hour 3: VARIETY.