Monday, August 26, 2002 Hour 1: FIRST HALF. Phil on baseball, talks to callers. SECOND HALF. Lloyd Bonafide on the horror of Ward Cleaver killings. Flashback of 2002-08-23b. Hour 2: Don Parsley's daughter died in a car accident driving off a cliff. He says she was 16, then 8. Don says his wife cries herself to sleep every night and can't get out of bed, then he says she was lost to uterine cancer. His story keeps changing. Hour 3: Doug Dannger is physically forcing people out of movie theaters if they don't recite which critic supported the film. He says the worst thing American Idol is doing is allowing people to vote, because the singers suck.

Friday, August 23, 2002 Hour 1: Charlie La Fountain is an ad agency man who wants to use murderer David Westerfield as a spokesman since he has a bad boy image. He could represent Old Spice. Hour 2: Steve Bosell was unfairly accused of cutting a fart while getting out of a leather seat in a car. The lady said he smells like a pig and he said she smelled like tuna, and Steve says it's a classic stand-up comedy comeback. He compares the accusations to OJ Simpson's plight. Should he still remain friends with the family even though they have a golfing tee-off time at 7 am?. Hour 3: FIRST HALF. Phil talks about Opie & Anthony's stunts. Phil comments on anti-Bush protests. SECOND HALF. Phil auditioning bands for his birthday party. Lucky Mamas "Dem Changes", Musidora "Let It Fly", Violet Vertigo "Freud", etc. Flashback 2002-08-22a.

Thursday, August 22, 2002 Hour 1: Jay Santos is going door to door asking men over 35 years of age questions to make sure they aren't kid-killing freaks. Hour 2: VARIETY. At 14m Bobbie Dooley goes into a church hearing the organ music celebration from the Father James McQuarters bit on 2002-08-21c. Hour 3: Chris Norton wants to make a porn movie at New York City ground zero called "Nine Or Eleven, Take Your Pick, Let The Healing Begin". Actors include Tad Pole, Raymond Bone, Rick Stretch, Woody Woodlovepecker, and Bobby Balls.

Wednesday, August 21, 2002 Hour 1: VARIETY. Hour 2: Bobbie Dooley was in San Diego to see the Van Damme trial, and is upset at the bailiff because she couldn't swipe an evidence photo as a souvenir, and because they weren't allowed to eat food in the courtroom. Hour 3: Father James McQuarters comments on the couple that had sex in St Patrick's Cathedral as part of an Opie & Anthony radio stunt. He says turning the house of God into a whorehouse is much worse than the molestation scandal and taking a wee peek. A priest starts playing organ music in the background as they are celebrating the molestation scandal being off the front page.

Tuesday, August 20, 2002 Hour 1: Bob Green introduces the new Twin Towers Bra. He got beat up at a trade show for comparing a woman's sagging breasts to the World Trade Center. His slogan is "You may not be able to rebuild these, but you still have a chance to rebuild these." Hour 2: Margaret Gray discusses the pre-Amber alert system. Important kids like her son Jason Jay Delmonico (who she says has a nice butt and was picked to go on the bridge of the Disney Cruise) are important to the human race, so it's important to get their information out to the public before an abduction occurs. Hour 3: VARIETY.

Monday, August 19, 2002 Hour 1: Dean Wheeler says Americans are acting like chickens and diaper-dirtying babies about the 9-11 attacks. His confrontational therapy involves putting on diapers and confronting one's fears. Hour 2: VARIETY. Hour 3: Jim Sadler speaks to the dead by giving widows Rohypnol and "finding" jewelry, money, PIN numbers, and other valuables. He claims he helps them pay their debts. When he doses the clients he plays an ominous pipe organ riff (Phantom of the Opera Overture) because it evokes respect for the dead. "Crossing Over".

Friday, August 16, 2002 Hour 1: Herb Sewell shares his thoughts on the baseball strike and the obedient fans that will do as they're told. Hour 2: Lloyd Bonafide while doing an Elvis show hits a handicapped kid with a guitar. Hour 3: A tribute to Elvis.. Sort plus Phil being on "Hot Or Not" plus Listener Mail.

Thursday, August 15, 2002 Hour 1: RERUN of 2002-04-09 hour two. No hugging kids. Hour 2: RERUN of 2002-07-31 hour one. Sexually suggestive garden. Hour 3: RERUN of 2002-03-29 hour one. Embarrassing loaner car.

Wednesday, August 14, 2002 Hour 1: Margaret Gray performed oral sex on a stranger after getting into a wreck so her husband wouldn't get violent about the car damage. Phil closes talking about wealthy Arabs who turn a blind eye to the plight of their fellow Palestinians. Hour 2: Paul Tubby Lane says NASCAR should limit itself to 75 mph, use turn signals, and know how to read a map, even though the cars go in circles. He was told by racer Roger Penske it's much more dangerous on the freeway than on a racetrack. Phil closes with Bud performing the opening of Full Metal Jacket with R. Lee Ermey. Hour 3: RERUN of 2001-08-27 hour three. Parents and Athletes United.

Tuesday, August 13, 2002 Hour 1: Bobbie and Steve speak out against the hype of 9-11. Hour 2: Phil & R.C. talk about Phil's new TV show, Ozzy, Anna and the miner that went to Oz-Fest. Hour 3: Brass Villanueva wants relief money because he's stuck with a bunch of red Elvis wigs he can't sell due to racism.