Hour 1: VARIETY. Hour 2: Vernon Dozier took an imaginary grenade to the face while playing war as a kid, and he is quite serious that this shaped him into the man he is today. Hour 3: VARIETY.

Hour 1: Jay Santos is calling in bomb threats and reports of molesters to gauge how law enforcement is responding, because Bush dropped the ball. Jay refers to "Butt, Montana". Phil closes with flashback of 2002-05-16b BDO, Phil says he doesn't really like Hawaii. Hour 2: VARIETY. Hour 3: VARIETY.

Hour 1: VARIETY. Hour 2: Bobbie and Steve are promiscious at high school graduation night at their home pool party and let "the snake out". A female caller from Houston calls in crying about the loss of a close friend and Phil lets her off the hook.David G.Hall comes in Hour 3: VARIETY.

Hour 1: RC Collins says it's going to be hard to fight for his country unless American people go out and make Star Wars Attack Of The Clones number one at the box office. Hour 2: VARIETY. Hour 3: VARIETY.

Hour 1: VARIETY. Hour 2: Margaret Gray says she has inside information that Anakin Skywalker turned into Darth Vader because he was molested by Yoda. Hour 3: Paul Tubby Lane directs firefighters to the wealthier homes so that they don't waste time putting out fires in trailer parks. He is with Fire Break Consultants.

Hour 1: Bob Green gave a woman in his law firm $10K and diamonds. He expects “blow sex” or else he will report the stones stolen. Hour 2: Steve Bosell is mad at the Catholic church for being unable to explain to his son the difference between Spiderman and Jesus Christ. Hour 3: VARIETY.

Hour 1: Don Parsley is a man who is sentimental about the idea of having kids, but makes no bones about beating the hell out of them if they do something bad. He also has issues with Ozzy Osborne. Hour 2: VARIETY. Hour 3: Clara Bingham says that the reason kids are doing poorly in school is because their dumbass parents made them that way, so she encourages kids to use their parents cars and credit cards to get back at them. She mentions Hogans Heroes.

Hour 1: VARIETY. Hour 2: Bobbie Dooley says the pipe bomer Luke Helder will not get convicted because the women on the jury will be attracted to him. Hour 3: Vernon Dozier threatened some young children with physical violence for eyeing his wife, saying that they're still males and are just as prone to ogling as grownups. Vernon's wife is a MILF in Butt Melon Magazine.

Hour 1: Jeff Dowder is an ex-convict who wants his mom out of her house when he gets home so he can open a halfway house. Operation Yellow Ribbon. Hour 2: Roland Schwinn says that when you don't give a kid a car at age 16 that they end up on the path to criminal behavior. On Jake Helder, eating and pipe bombs [DJB]. Hour 3: FIRST HALF. Phil talks about pipe bombers. RC Collins asks "is pipe bombs all that bad" and debates Harvey Wireman. SECOND HALF. Phil rants about the Catholic scandal and says the church will go bankrupt, talks about the George Lopez Show.

Hour 1: Ted Bell is a restaurant owner and Hollywood insider who won't tell any "popcorn eaters" how Spiderman was made. He admit's he's gone down on key Hollywood executives to get where he is now. Hour 2: VARIETY. Hour 3: Paul Lane fled from the police after raping his girlfriend and his chase was broadcast on TV. He is demanding royalties from viewers for providing all of this entertainment.