The show started off with “The Further Adventures of Bill Cortizen.” He’s a football coach for the Chattanooga Choo-Choos and the owner and her son are idiots who basically make his life a living, tongue biting hell. Tsunami Sam showed up to sing a blues tribute to Condoleezza Rice. The Art Bell and General Johnson Jameson try and contact Cupid in the 6th Dimension. Phil played a tape of the real Art Bell talking with a caller about Phil’s show and then Phil wrapped the hour answering e-mails about his move to Extra Sports AM 570.
Bobbi and Steve Dooley come on to talk about the HOA meeting they had at Western Estates. Bobbi was mortified to find out that the homeowners were more interested in the well-being of a child that was sexually assaulted near their community than they were in how her hemorrhoid surgery went. Bobbi tells Phil that while the little girl is alright, Bobbi is still bleeding a little bit. We then rolled a listener flashback request of Chris Norton doing his stupid sex dance. Jeff Dowder called and talked about his dog giving him the evil eye because the dog apparently doesn’t want America cutting any deals with Korea and turning him and his canine brothers into stew meat.
Dean Wheeler, an assistant gymnastics coach from Northern California has to answer some tough questions from Phil and his callers on why he has years and years of videotape stored with images of teenage girls jumping up and down on trampolines. Dean says they are simply training tapes that show the development of athletes, even though some of the girls are in short skirts doing leg kicks. Phil’s cell phone rings in the middle of the bit….and the dumbass answers it. Then RC Collins, a cadet at Bradley Military Academy calls to ask women to simply come out and state how much he and his fellow cadets have to spend on a Valentines date to insure they’ll get sex. He says “just give us a number we can work with.” Phil finishes off with some more e-mail.