Jay Santos and his Citizens Auxiliary Police sub commanders are going to go into hotel restaurants and interview couples to see if they are married. If they are they can check into the hotel. If they are not…well…as Jay says “we’ve got a situation.” Earl pants Car Talk featured Earl complaining that he needed Viagra after seeing how his girlfriend looked longingly at some dudes new Mercedes SLR McLaren while she sat in what Earl thought was a pretty hot car, his Camaro. Father James McQuarters came on and talked about what a traitor Corey Feldman is to Michael Jackson and then Phil rapped about Maria being up at Pebble Beach interviewing celebs at the AT&T Pro-Am.
Chris Norton, a good-looking young telemarketer from Redondo Beach was on to comment on the recent female teacher/male underage student sexual scandals that have been prominent in the news. His take was its all the kids fault since these old ladies can’t resist a young hunk…at least that’s how it was for Chris and his 8th grade teacher, Mrs. Gladway, who took one look at how “evident” Chris was in his slacks and was on him. Our listener flashback was the classic Sylvia/David bit where caller Sylvia tells our own David G. Hall she is going to taker her high heel off and jam it in his eye. Then the Comb-Over Boy show featured ‘Boy explaining the high comedy art of the “How you doing Tom?/Do you care” exchange.
Our last hour kicked off with Love Songs and Bob telling everyone who doesn’t have a date this Valentines Day that they are losers. he takes calls from people and suggest ways they can “pop their corks.” Kenny Rogers comes on and does another “Holiday” special, this one for Valentines Day featuring the same unending laundry list of D grade TV stars like Vicki Lawrence and Cheryl Ladd. On Harvey Weirman’s Senior Chat, Harvey’s guest is Paul Rogers, who has written the book “Stuck Accelerator: The Conspiracy Against Seniors.” Paul explains that all seniors know the brake is on the right and the accelerator on the left but Detroit lies to them and tells them its the other way around. David G. hall comes on and makes Phil read off the call letters of all of his affiliates since he’s been going on and on about his move to Extra Sports AM570, KLAC. Did we mention that Phil is moving, February 21st to Extra Sports AM 570? Gene Klein, professional ass kisser winds up the show with his advice on kissing the bosses ass. Example: Any joke that starts out with “…there was this hair lip, see….” is a sure winner.
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I wonder if Sylvia ever knew she was a Phil Show celebrity?