Bobbie Dooley is incredibly impressed but not surprised that as a way of memorializing her presidency of the Western estates Homeowners Association her husband Steve has carved into the hedge on their front lawn a topiary of her enhanced breasts.
Jeff Dowder calls to say he read a magazine article that mentioned Phil. Then David Hall calls to ask why Phil is wasting time on reading his own press clippings. He’s mad at Phil for showing up for the Radio and Records Talk Seminar in character as some bumbling, half-wit. Then Bud, in practicing for a segment he is going to do on the show, plays “We Built This City’ over and over causing Phil to put his hands around Bud’s neck. Candice Bergantile works as a flight attendant and tells Phil that she regularly puts troublesome passengers in first class, not because they want it but because if the plane hits a mountain, being toward the front of the cabin, they are sure to die.,
Concerned citizen Robert Greene comes on the show to tell Phil it is time for the board of health to certify the sanitary conditions of neighborhood garage sales before people visit them. He says that when he visits the average garage sale “you look at the people that are having them and you don’t know what they’re doing in” their homes. Among the diseases he’s afraid of and where he may find them: Gonorrhea on a tricycle seat, polio on a tea cup set, typhus on a picture of someone’s grandmother, shingles and other running sore producing diseases on underwear and rabies on a chaise lounge. Bud comes on to say he fears “Martian AIDS” brought back to earth by astronauts who decided to have unprotected sex with Martians.