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Thursday, March 3, 2005

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Hour One:

We started with Harvey Weirman's Senior Chat: German Seniors Edition. Tonight's question: When you lie about why you left Germany do you say A) "Oh I left before Hitler came to power" or B) "You know, he wasn't as bad as people say he was." Phil then speculated on a remote from Cabo and then Bob Greene called in to wish Phil and Maria luck with their marriage and to say that he was very much in love with his wife until her foot fungus drove him away. Phil then interviewed Martha Stewart who told Phil the first thing she is going to do when she gets out is rape Katie Couric. Phil then talked about hacking into cell phones and how he regrets ever giving his private e-mail address to some of his friends because now they're friends are forwarding him their messed up jokes and stuff. Hal and Viola called in but stalled the plane before they could even say why they were calling.

Hour Two:

Herb Sewell, former psychiatric patient is on to discuss how he will keep a beautiful young teacher from possibly seducing his son. he is going to hit on her himself, have a relationship with her and take her mind off of picking up boys. Herb then goes into his own twisted criminal history with regard to children and Phil finally throws him off the show but not before he calls back and asks for an autographed c.d. Hal and Viola call back this time to tell Phil that their son and daughter in law were able to work out their problems even though the daughter in law never bathed.

Hour Three:

Raj Feneen came on the show to say that NASCAR wastes oil with their "stupid racing." The oil that is wasted by NASCAR is the resource of the middle east and Americans use it to race cars and go buy "Biggie fries." Phil ended the hour by saying that NASCAR is superior to any other sport because you can bring a cooler in and no dumbass fan is going to throw something on the track without the other fans around him, without warning, ending his life.

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