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Tonight, Dr. Ron Tarner told Phil and his audience that if it came down to saving a students life or saving his career, the student goes down for the count. Anything that can be percieved as sexual assault or harassment he stays away from. So when Phil told him about a high school student who who put alligator clips on his nipples and had someone plug them into a wall socket resulting in the boy suffering serious injury, Tarner said he wouldn’t go near that situation. “The alligator clips sound sexual. Same reason why I won’t stop a kid who’s dropped his pants to light a fart. People will think I’m joining in.”

Jay Santos of the Citizens Auxilliary Police joined Phil the next hour and told Phil that if they outlaw smoking in multi-family dwellings, he and his “sub-commanders” have the Constitutional right to enter those dwellings and “put our nose to peoples clothing and fingers” to determine if they’ve been smoking.” Afterall, says Jay, they are smokers and no one cares about the rights of smokers.

Showing 3 comments
  • kvuo

    best Tarner so far! almost gettin back to the ridiculous premises I know and love 🙂

    I think Dr. Tarner sounds almost like a young Lloyd.

    this is my first comment post.. if phil reads em, hey PHIL: I want an update on walter bellhaven and randall toomey, via herb sewell. how they doing at atascadero? walter still giving botany lectures? that shit is genius!

  • wsjoyner3

    Lol, I wonder how Jason's new a-hole is doing. Phil's commercial break tirades rival his on-air shenanigans!

  • sessyman-reg431

    i love the way Dr Tarner is so darned nasal in his speech.. he cant say "nipple" it comes out "Dipple"" Phil your a genius,, so turds out there try carrying on a conversation with your self,, using a closed loop phone with a closed nose but open mouth. ,, ps,, im a gay man and a gay doctor,, but i used to be a gay man and a gay student,, suck on that…;. I miss Ram the dot head,,, Dr P in Yuba

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