Hour 1: David G. Hall calls immediately to tell Phil that due to FCC considerations he needs to “go easy” when saying the name “Cochran.” Lloyd Bonafide calls the show to say that after listening to a Michael Jackson record, he feels he’s been molested and wonders if the V.A will treat it. Carl the Complainer calls to bitch about how much he hates the show, as usual, and then demands, as usual, to be put through to the CEO of Clear Channel. The Gary Snale Computer Show goes wrong somehow and Gary is reduced to tears. His interview guest is suddenly pressed into service to finish the show. Callers call for computer advise and to say how much of a puss-boy Gary is. Bud suddenly enters the studio with a crew of people shooting a porn movie. And then Father James McQuarters lets us in on a little secret. In order for him to sound Irish, he has to have Irish music playing, otherwise, when the Irish music stops, he morphs into a black man.
Hour 2: Bobbie Dooley has organized a caravan of 150 residents of the Western Estates Homeowners Association to head down to Florida and “save Terri Schiavo.” They are building a new community center at Western estates and they have placed a plaque commemorating Terri’s life…..right next to the Coke machine. Bobbie’s says that when they get to Florida, they may ask Terri’s father to reimburse them for the gas money. But then, “how much is your child’s life worth.”
Hour 3: Robert Green, of Frazier Foods, has told employees and customers he doesn’t want people talking in the stores about Johnnie Cochran because he was the guy that got that “throat slitting, cold-blooded murderer O.J.” acquitted and hearing his name may upset “Caucasian” shoppers. He also says he has an “innovative” new way in keeping up with customers tastes. He has his checkers eavesdrop on conversations shoppers are having in the check out lines. The other day one of his checkers came to him and said there was a guy in line looking at the tabloids who said to his wife, “That guy Michael Moore is a liar.” Green entered that into his “database.”