RC Collins of Bradley Military Academy wants to be 101st Airborne but would like the option of not jumping out of a plane into combat if it looks too hairy…..RC talks with a combat veteran who tells him he’d kick him out the door anyway. RC says “that would be murder”……..RC says that coming down in a parachute makes the target for any enemy on the ground quite obvious…He’s shooting up so “what do you think he’s going to hit first?….Phil says taking King of the Hill off of the air is Fox “trying to wring every last penny out of that half-hour “like they have their hands on a KFC chickens throat…”…Phil tells the story of the 101st at Bastogne in WW2…..
Lloyd Bonafide is insistent that when the youth center he and his wife financially support has its teen formal dance for underprivileged youth, a song he wrote called “I Gotta Rock” be played by the band. The songs lyrics go “I gotta rock, I gotta rock, for God’s sake do I have to rock.”
Vernon Dozier, high school football coach, math teacher and avid NASCAR fan is on to complain about the fact that even though he “pleaded” with his wife not to have to baby-sit their granddaughter while he watched NASCAR, she made him thus forcing him to split his time between watching the racing on TV and cleaning baby puke off of his brand new “Nat Nast bowling shirt.” That’s why, when his wife got home, he gave her hair a “playful tug till it snapped her head back” while talking to her about his ruined afternoon. As Vernon said, “Messing with a NASCAR fan is like messing with a Bakersfield chimp.”