Bob Green from Frazier Foods says he isn't selling corn this year during Labior Day weekend in honor of the sacrifices of Native Americans. Turns out he's just paying back a Native American lending agency for a loan by not competing with an American Indian co-op opening up.... Later it was Professor Jeff Dowdder of Cal Tech telling Phil that a man who cut off all of his toes in order he later claimed to escape a trailer that had landed on his foot is most likely making the whole thing up. Older people do that, says Jeff.

Retired firefighter Herman Whittaker agrees with the decision to remove Jerry Lewis from the MDA telethon. "It was Jerry Lewis that caused me to thirst for comedy featuring people with their knees knocking together." Mavis Leonard called in and agreed with Hermans suggestion they hire a black host. "I vote for Johnny Depp," she said. Vernon Dozier and Father James McQuarters called the show to talk about the upcoming high school football season. Coach Dozier talked about mental toughness and Father McQuarters discussed praying for a player on the opposing team to suffer paralysis. By the end of the segment Father McQuarters was begging Coach Dozier for a drink.

Don Berman from Channel 19 News tells Phil why it's more important to tell people that New York is doing fine after the hurricane than anything having to do with other cities hit by Irene. Bobbie Dooley recounts how she got into a fight with a woman at a viewing party she was having for the VMA awards. "She started it. I finished it."

"Best Of" on the radio!

"Best Of" on the radio!

Well Dr. Ron Tarner was none too please Steve Jobs retired and said so to his students and Phil in our first hour. Ron told Phil that compared to Steve Jobs his students had "dead eyes, like the dead eyes of a corpse." He confiscated all PC's as an insult to Mr. Jobs and plans on selling them on EBay since all they are good for is "picking up men on the MySpace." Vernon Dozier recounted the story of his marriage to Amber, 30 years his junior and the opposition he got from her family. Her brother Ray said that Vernon was "some kind of exotic freak." Vernon told Phil he got his revenge. Following the Virginia quake, Vernon told Ray, who lives in Virginia with the rest of the family, to put together an earthquake preparedness kit. He'd need "two shower caps, a muffler, some duct tape, yogurt, a ceiling fan and a cap pistol." Vernon was sittinjg by the phone waiting for the first phone call of indignation to come in.

Margaret Grey told Phil that forcing her son to eat tabasco sauce is the best way for her to teach him that "bird-dogging his own mother" is unacceptable. "He's at that age now Phil where his hormones are kicking in and I don't want to wheel around some afternoon and see him there with his fly open." Don Parsley solicited donations for his "Pay Pal account" to help "earthquake victims" in Virginia. "There are some parts of Virginia that are so remote Phil I have to go in by way of Whirlybird and rappel down a rope to get to the people. And then you have to make sure you contact the right member of the clan." Don was going to tell Phil the charity he was associated with but "the papers are down in my car and..oh my God...my car's been stolen."

"Best Of" on the radio!