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I'm Vernon Dozier and I know many of you know who I am. Do you know what is in that picture down there? You don't? That's called a c-u-....It's called a you know what. It's called a c-word, is what it's called. It's also my mother-in-law, Debbie Dockton.                            Oh, Jesus. I married her daughter Stephanie when Stephanie had just graduated BelMar, where I teach. She was 18. Not 17. Not 16. She was 18 and the last I checked that's legal in the sovereign state of California so that thing in the picture can shut the clean-out under it's nose. But it doesn't. Let me tell you what a cun....God, I wish I could say it. Let me tell you what a c-u-n-(and the next letter rhymes with "P") is. It's a woman that starts a problem when no problem needed to be started. When everything was fine, nice and calm, it walked into the house and gave you that look. When everyone was getting along, it decided it would open old wounds. See, the C thinks it's 'clearing up old business," "getting to it," "not hiding from the truth." But a C never does get to the truth. Under the guise of wanting to get to the truth the C just wants to see you bleed from the eyes again. It wants to go over and over and over the night...oh I don't know...let's say the night it's daughter graduated from high school and the worst man in the world, the guy it calls "Pervernon" because that word helps make it laugh and keeps the muscles in its face from atrophy, grabbed Stephanie from the stage and took off. About 20 minutes later, when it was driving home with the long suffering, stooped and beaten chew-toy it calls a husband, it spotted my truck parked at cabin 4, Blue Moon Motel. My mother-in-law took this picture of my truck parked, cabin 4.. Oh my God let's have a coronary. It's a wedding night. But ever since that night, I've had to listen to it. Typical night. Phone rings. Me: "Hello" The C: "Oh, hi Pervernon. Can I talk to OFS?" "OFS" stands for "operation: field slut." So, I'm a pervert but it's own daughter is a field slut because it married...or I mean she married me. There's a 31 year age difference. So what? What if I married the C instead? She's closer to my age. Why not? Well, I would have but Debbie...that's my mother in law, the C...Debbie, instead of being OFS is OTA and that interferes with setting up OPT. There, try figuring that out, C-Word! Glossary OFA--Operation: Trucked Face OPP--Operation: Poontang I wanna ask one other question. What is this "Float On" bullshit. What the living hell?

Ep. 1370

Don Berman, channel 19 news, details what led up to his invitation from the White House to interview Donald Trump, June 21. The weekend of the 15-16 is another marathon, this time with Vernon Dozier. He remembers his proudest moment.

Ep. 1310

An encore from December 13, 2017. Jay Santos claims he can get Roy Moore to concede by trotting out a Moore impersonator to concede for him. Bob Green complains about his follower count on Twitter. The Dodgers losing, instead of winning, in 7 games haunts Vernon Dozier.

Ep. 1552

The Coach Vernon Dozier Hour brings on guests Don Berman, PTO parent Don Soil and Father James McQuarters to sift over events

Ep. 1436

Don Berman, channel 19 news, details what led up to his invitation from the White House to interview Donald Trump, June 21. The weekend of the 15-16 is another marathon, this time with Vernon Dozier. He remembers his proudest moment.

Show Log

It was vernon Dozier doing battle with Dr. Jim Sadler tonight over who is more of a "MA-MA boy." (Not Ma-Ma's boy says Vernon because that's possessive and Vernon's "masculist" group doesn't accept any man being possessed by his MA-MA) Dr. Sadler became so upset at losing the debate he got in his car and drove to Dozier's house where he tried to gain access by posing as a pizza delivery guy and a telegram courier. Neither worked and Sadler called Phil's show back, crying... Phil and his crew discussed Steve Harvey crying on TV Wednesday afternoon.... Jay Santos discussed with Phil the story of a child ejected from a car in Russia and almost being run down by a semi. A similar thing happened to two of Jay's adopted sons, a "Pacific Islander" named Reggie and an "Asian" named Jerry. Jay's thrid son, an African-American named Cleon was safe. The two boys were "fired from the car, parallel to the ground, at about 50 miles an hour straight into a snow bank. Their diapers were almost completely torn off "due to wind shear."

Show Log

        Quarterback Jeremy Black's dad after tangling with Coach Dozier Dean Wheeler joined the program to talk about Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin but before long it had degenerated into his screaming about the tree squirrels that have "harrassed" him for months and his nephew Stevie showing up with a pellet gun and ready to aim as Dean gets a headfull of squirrel shit. Vernon Dozier came close to another stroke stressing about college football players unionizing. He talked about a young freshman quarterback at Belmar Academy that he's bringing along as the kids father is, typically, being "a pain in the ass." Vernon said the boy is a fine young man but because he's 15 he's automatically "dirty, crawling, slimy scum, a punk and a degenerate. But all kids are at that age" said Vernon. The Bobbie Dooley Podcast featured Bobbie kicking the shit out of not only Steve but announcer Gene Wiffner. BSP's don't forget Pre-Show audio is now a separate download. Do you have a Backstage Pass? Why not? God damn, get one son

Show Log

Well Dr. Ron Tarner was none too please Steve Jobs retired and said so to his students and Phil in our first hour. Ron told Phil that compared to Steve Jobs his students had "dead eyes, like the dead eyes of a corpse." He confiscated all PC's as an insult to Mr. Jobs and plans on selling them on EBay since all they are good for is "picking up men on the MySpace." Vernon Dozier recounted the story of his marriage to Amber, 30 years his junior and the opposition he got from her family. Her brother Ray said that Vernon was "some kind of exotic freak." Vernon told Phil he got his revenge. Following the Virginia quake, Vernon told Ray, who lives in Virginia with the rest of the family, to put together an earthquake preparedness kit. He'd need "two shower caps, a muffler, some duct tape, yogurt, a ceiling fan and a cap pistol." Vernon was sittinjg by the phone waiting for the first phone call of indignation to come in
Retired firefighter Herman Whittaker agrees with the decision to remove Jerry Lewis from the MDA telethon. "It was Jerry Lewis that caused me to thirst for comedy featuring people with their knees knocking together." Mavis Leonard called in and agreed with Hermans suggestion they hire a black host. "I vote for Johnny Depp," she said. Vernon Dozier and Father James McQuarters called the show to talk about the upcoming high school football season. Coach Dozier talked about mental toughness and Father McQuarters discussed praying for a player on the opposing team to suffer paralysis. By the end of the segment Father McQuarters was begging Coach Dozier for a drink.

Ep. 434

It was Phil and the crew commenting on today's USA-Germany World Cup match with Jeff Dowdder and Coach Vernon Dozier in Brazil. Dowdder and Dozier were at a carnival tent near the stadium, sitting with "knowledgeable soccer fans, not a bunch of imbeciles like ninety percent of these Americans." They also asked for permission to burn their per diem up on beer since its blazing hot down there and Phil gave his consent, much to Margaret's dismay. Coach Dozier also commented on the fact that he was in a part of the world where "women's asses are grade A, the soccer fans know their shit and I'm far away from you people." Don't forget to get your tickets now for Phil's historic one man show The World of Phil Hendrie: Truth Is Our Bitch, July 30, the Hollywood Improv.... Episode 150 from The World of Phil Hendrie podcast.
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