Ted Bell of Ted’s of Beverly Hills explains his drunkenness and his wife Marcy leaving him as a big misunderstanding.

Phil bring Ted Bell on to discuss the possible return of the Ted’s of Beverly Hills bowling shirt and other merch. Then Vernon Dozier reluctantly talks about tonight’s Vernon Dozier Marathon commencing at midnight.

The BSP Classic Hour is from October 2001. Ted Bell wants an 18-month pass to be able to drive drunk anytime he wants since he is an important businessman.

General Gaylen Shaw guest hosts on Memorial Day. Ted Bell and Jay Santos come on the show to talk about bringing guests on Phil’s Saturday night show at UCB.

Construction Contractor Steve Bosell echos Trump and tells his daughter the Kentucky Derby was being politically correct disqualifying the Maximum Security. His daughter gets pissed and reports him to her schools Headmistress.... the formidable Erica Dorton. Plus Ted Bell and the Dunphy brothers.

Dr Ed Elcott tells Phil the Art Bell Marathon actually made fun of ELCOTT The Next Step sacred icons, like Jack Frost or Jacka /Frosta as he/she is known in The Big Thick One.. Ted Bell tells us that he gnaws on the bone from a Ted’s of Beverly Hills t-bone for hours, well after he’s left the restaurant, while he strolls through a bookstore, while he’s driving or mast********.

Mark Hinshaw, formerly with the Trump campaign, is teaming with Ted Bell for a new kind of stock car race where they go backwards at “high rates of speed.” Bobbie Dooley is in the gym, angry that someone used a face app with one of her pictures and gave her a beard and curly hair. Bobbie says, “I’m gonna find the guy that did it.”

Ted Bell is guest commentator with General Gaylen Shaw and wants to bring back the fun of going to the movies so he shows up with this.

Ted Bell announces a new ad campaign: Ted’s 6 Things! He and Chef Chodillia roll it out but the ghost of ad campaigns past comes calling. Bob Green has a few in-store promotions that seem rather direct including: “You probably live in a toilet. Try Quick-Ease Paper Towels.”