Tuesday, May 20, 2003 Hour 1: VARIETY. Hour 2: VARIETY. Hour 3: Jay Santos and the Citizens Auxiliary Police are going up to people's houses and blasting an air horn, yelling Orange Alert, to remind people that terrorists could strike at any moment.

Thursday, June 19, 2003 Hour 1: VARIETY. Hour 2: VARIETY. Hour 3: Jay Santos and the Citizens Auxiliary Police will be in bookstores to make sure that Americans conform by buying Harry Potter books, otherwise their actions are suspicious.

Tuesday, April 20, 2004 Hour 1: VARIETY. Hour 2: Jay Santos is stopping kids to search them in case they might be planning another Columbine shooting. Hour 3: Herb Sewell talks about how hard it is to make women realize their ex-husbands were bad fathers as well as bad husbands.

Monday, July 28, 2003 Hour 1: VARIETY. Hour 2: VARIETY. Hour 3: Jay Santos got a breast cancer awareness march limited to a restricted area because he feels the cancer survivors are trying to push their agenda down people's throats.

Monday, August 4, 2003 Hour 1: Jay Santos of the citizens auxiliary police is heading Operation School Start, where he inspects bags of high school girls coming out of the mall to check for things like thong underwear. Hour 2: VARIETY. Hour 3: VARIETY.

Tuesday, July 16, 2002 Hour 1: Bobbie Dooley is teaching young girs how to binge and purge to prepare for the Summertacular fashion show. She knocked chocolate cake out of her daughter's hands with a rake. Hour 2: VARIETY. Hour 3: Jay Santos of the Citizens Auxiliary Police's Panty Squad wants to check to make sure women are wearing underwear. Certain women might be scaring kids.

Thursday, August 22, 2002 Hour 1: Jay Santos is going door to door asking men over 35 years of age questions to make sure they aren't kid-killing freaks. Hour 2: VARIETY. At 14m Bobbie Dooley goes into a church hearing the organ music celebration from the Father James McQuarters bit on 2002-08-21c. Hour 3: Chris Norton wants to make a porn movie at New York City ground zero called "Nine Or Eleven, Take Your Pick, Let The Healing Begin". Actors include Tad Pole, Raymond Bone, Rick Stretch, Woody Woodlovepecker, and Bobby Balls.

Monday, September 9, 2002 Hour 1: Steve Bosell says that 9-11 ruined the many birthdays for people born on that date, and it's Bush's obligation to acknowledge this unfortunate coincidence. Towards the end Steve says it's the day him and his wife have kinky sex and she says "put your World Trade Center up for me!" It's the only thing that makes her happy. Hour 2: Jay Santos goes to parks on 9-11 and reminds people that you don't laugh and play, and he burns the head off a doll to emphasize the grave tragedy of 9-11. Hour 3: Dave Oliva wants a special day where only people from Los Angeles get to visit the Statue of Liberty, and he wants to squirt water at the eyes with a hose to make it shed tears.