Monday, May 5, 2003 Hour 1: Jay Santos wants to ban bachelorette parties because they are degrading to women, and given the shortage of nuns in this country it makes women not want to make religion their vocation. Hour 2: VARIETY. Hour 3: (FIRST HALF) Glenn Wilcox is a California patrolman who doesn't like the epidemic of speeding. He will ticket anyone automatically who says 'why did you pull me over', but if there's a good excuse he has another solution, force them to go 80 mph. (SECOND HALF) Taylor County High Prom.

Tuesday, May 20, 2003 Hour 1: VARIETY. Hour 2: VARIETY. Hour 3: Jay Santos and the Citizens Auxiliary Police are going up to people's houses and blasting an air horn, yelling Orange Alert, to remind people that terrorists could strike at any moment.

Thursday, June 19, 2003 Hour 1: VARIETY. Hour 2: VARIETY. Hour 3: Jay Santos and the Citizens Auxiliary Police will be in bookstores to make sure that Americans conform by buying Harry Potter books, otherwise their actions are suspicious.

Tuesday, April 20, 2004 Hour 1: VARIETY. Hour 2: Jay Santos is stopping kids to search them in case they might be planning another Columbine shooting. Hour 3: Herb Sewell talks about how hard it is to make women realize their ex-husbands were bad fathers as well as bad husbands.

Monday, July 28, 2003 Hour 1: VARIETY. Hour 2: VARIETY. Hour 3: Jay Santos got a breast cancer awareness march limited to a restricted area because he feels the cancer survivors are trying to push their agenda down people's throats.

Monday, August 4, 2003 Hour 1: Jay Santos of the citizens auxiliary police is heading Operation School Start, where he inspects bags of high school girls coming out of the mall to check for things like thong underwear. Hour 2: VARIETY. Hour 3: VARIETY.

Tuesday, July 16, 2002 Hour 1: Bobbie Dooley is teaching young girs how to binge and purge to prepare for the Summertacular fashion show. She knocked chocolate cake out of her daughter's hands with a rake. Hour 2: VARIETY. Hour 3: Jay Santos of the Citizens Auxiliary Police's Panty Squad wants to check to make sure women are wearing underwear. Certain women might be scaring kids.

Thursday, August 22, 2002 Hour 1: Jay Santos is going door to door asking men over 35 years of age questions to make sure they aren't kid-killing freaks. Hour 2: VARIETY. At 14m Bobbie Dooley goes into a church hearing the organ music celebration from the Father James McQuarters bit on 2002-08-21c. Hour 3: Chris Norton wants to make a porn movie at New York City ground zero called "Nine Or Eleven, Take Your Pick, Let The Healing Begin". Actors include Tad Pole, Raymond Bone, Rick Stretch, Woody Woodlovepecker, and Bobby Balls.