Phil and the panel discussed the Texas story of two escaped inmates with retired US Marshall Darren Hoyt. Hoyt had a similar case tracking two inmates that had escaped jail by distracting a guard with a magic trick. Hoyt recaptured them by sawing a lady in half in front of where the men were holed up. When one came out to inspect the box the woman was in he and his accomplice were recaptured. Dr. Jim Sadler talked about the psychology behind homophobia. He was a last minute replacement for Dr. Ron Tarner who is in Denver at the 5th annual Astronomers and Astrophysicists Joke Competition. Dr. Tarner is anxious to avenge his defeat last year at the "hands" of Dr. Stephen Hawking. The panel also talked about the Star Trek episode in which actor Jeffrey Hunter played a starship captain reduced to life as merely "a head sitting on top of a boom box with wheels." (The Menagerie)

Ted Bell was the guest host. He commented on Phil's pre-show melt-down that carried over to the regular show. Ted took over after the first break. Ted talked with Frank Grey about his favorite food at Ted's (Shrimp Louie, Caeser Salad and Steak Diane...all entree's with 'people' names...) Later Ted talked with callers about the injury to college basketball player Kevin Ware, a gruesome compound fracture shown graphically on TV. "If I've got heavy cabbage riding on that game, you bet I want to see the injury. I want to see the world...all 69 states." Ted also discussed how he learned honesty from his father who got beat up one night by a guy who's wife Ted Sr. had made an impolite, but frank, remark to. He told her she had a great ass and was beat badly before buying the husband and the other two guys that had helped him drinks. Ted Jr. told a woman one night "I want to put my meat in your mouth," in the sense of wanting her to eat a Ted's of Beverly Hills steak but was knocked out cold anyway by her husband. "I was proud when I woke up though Phil. I saw people stepping over me going about the business of the restaurant. They didn't miss an order!"

Special guest host tonight was Art Bell (celebrity voice impersonated) who spoke with Dr. Wizard Pink about the sinkholes and who lives in them. Also General Johnson Jameson came on the show to discuss an epidemic of "invisible children" who pinch asses and drive pool cues up your you-know-what. General Jameson was looking to use his "nobulator" to identify and isolate them. Rickart Jones, an inventor with a 'vee-HICLE' that can 'penetrate the pany-liner that separates this dimension from that one' offered a demonstration of dimension travel. Hint: Once you enter another dimension a disembodied voice says "Hi there!" Jeff Dowdder checked in from Mint Canyon as well