Don Berman from Channel 19 News tells Phil why it's more important to tell people that New York is doing fine after the hurricane than anything having to do with other cities hit by Irene. Bobbie Dooley recounts how she got into a fight with a woman at a viewing party she was having for the VMA awards. "She started it. I finished it."

"Best Of" on the radio!

"Best Of" on the radio!

Well Dr. Ron Tarner was none too please Steve Jobs retired and said so to his students and Phil in our first hour. Ron told Phil that compared to Steve Jobs his students had "dead eyes, like the dead eyes of a corpse." He confiscated all PC's as an insult to Mr. Jobs and plans on selling them on EBay since all they are good for is "picking up men on the MySpace." Vernon Dozier recounted the story of his marriage to Amber, 30 years his junior and the opposition he got from her family. Her brother Ray said that Vernon was "some kind of exotic freak." Vernon told Phil he got his revenge. Following the Virginia quake, Vernon told Ray, who lives in Virginia with the rest of the family, to put together an earthquake preparedness kit. He'd need "two shower caps, a muffler, some duct tape, yogurt, a ceiling fan and a cap pistol." Vernon was sittinjg by the phone waiting for the first phone call of indignation to come in.

Margaret Grey told Phil that forcing her son to eat tabasco sauce is the best way for her to teach him that "bird-dogging his own mother" is unacceptable. "He's at that age now Phil where his hormones are kicking in and I don't want to wheel around some afternoon and see him there with his fly open." Don Parsley solicited donations for his "Pay Pal account" to help "earthquake victims" in Virginia. "There are some parts of Virginia that are so remote Phil I have to go in by way of Whirlybird and rappel down a rope to get to the people. And then you have to make sure you contact the right member of the clan." Don was going to tell Phil the charity he was associated with but "the papers are down in my car and..oh my God...my car's been stolen."

"Best Of" on the radio!

Last nights show featured the great Ted Bell from Ted's of Beverly Hills. great? Well he cried and complained his way through an hour that wasw supposed to be about why he buys gold....you know, the gold he uses to build statues of himself? Next up we had Marylyn Donnelly, pre-surgical transexual, who realized half way through her visit with us her reason for coming on the show was bullshit....You just gotta listen...

The Western Estates Homeowners Association, as ordered by HOA president Bobbie Dooley, as ordered all flags in the community to be flown at half staff to observe the death by suicide of Russell Armstrong, who was married to a star of "The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills." As Bobbie explains this to Phil her husband Steve is running a woodchipper which prompts a first ever violent clash between the two. RC Collins, a junior cadet at Bradley Military Academy, joined the show to say he felt cheated that the Navy Seals and not him and his classmates took out Bin Laden. "If you notice, the Navy Seals is the Navy. They're only supposed to fight where there's water. Bin Laden was on dry land." Also Harvey Weirman as Commandant Weirman makes an appearance.