Tonight, it was Ted Bell outraged that a customer threw a plate of ice cream in his face...ice cream that Ted failed to tell her was made from human breast milk. And Doug Dannger believes that Charlie Sheen is every bit the rock star Charlie Sheen says he is.

Professor Emory Clayton came on to dicuss with Phil and his audience the futility of anyone arguing with him who doesn't have as much education as him. He also chastised Phil for attending a lecture by the professor was giving and laughing half way through it.

"Best Of" on the Radio!

On our show tonight was Curt Queedy and Guy Barton talking about the time they hid from having to take a vote by breaking into an old woman's house and forcing her to cook them eggs and bacon. Bob Green was next saying as a conservative he doesn't want Obama to visit Madison for fear he'd be attacked by a man dressed as Martha Washington.

Vernon Dozier, now coaching basketball at Belmar Academy, says in his gym on his floor the kids on his team are his kids. Parents are invited to get the hell out. Dean Wheeler tells Phil how dangerously alluring the taser is after he tases a dog, his wife and his gardener.

On the show tonight Wisconsin teacher Rob Barnes returns to say it's time Walker give the Democrats some face-saving move so they don't look like a**holes to their kids. And then it's Jay Santos with sure fire techniques to identify the next violent, out-of-control student at your school! Also Vernon Dozier on slapping some 'tough' into his football players.

Dr. Ron Tarner takes his case for a law to protect bicyclists to Phil's national show saying they are no different from blacks, women or gays. Jeff Dowder tells Phil's audience Trevor Bayne benefited from a modern Nascar, auto-pilot, remote control and pit-control in case the kid passed out from fear.

David G. Hall wants to put tracking chips in the skulls of school kids and Larry Grover, though anti-abortion, thinks back alley abortions will cause women to lose their souls to "souless, 'Heart of Darkness' doctors."